Seeking Beautiful Silence
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- Parts 4
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Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete
Hauntingly Beautiful: Niall Horan Fanfiction
Note: I wrote this without proof-reading it, and I was twelve. Please bear that in mind. Talking to you was surprisingly easy. Even though you won't reply to anything I say, I know you hear me. It's quite comforting actually. I had always loved talking to you, pouring out my thoughts, opinions, everything. Now that you’re gone, I have no idea what to do with myself anymore. It's just that I wish you didn't left me alone, Bailey. I blame myself for every single thing that you went through, if it wasn't for me, you would still be here. But no, I chose to be ignorant. I'm so sorry for that.Complete
For My Soul
Everyone says that healing is a personal journey- that you must be self-sufficient and independent... but well- historically that just does not happen. Healing has always been done by or with a community. So, when River and Amelia are constantly pushed together by their friends- as they clash and then work to form a friendship that turns into so much more- what happens when maybe the path to healing is not so simple as ticking off Amelia's self-care checklist, what happens when both Amelia and River find themselves needing each other in more ways than one? Relationships sustain us, but they also destroy us. Can both find the trust that they need to love each other healthily?
Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardComplete
asphyxiate
"Drowning is not the worst part. Lacking the courage to breathe is." No one saw her struggle. No one saw her scars. No one saw her bleeding. No one saw her tears. No one saw her depression. They never realized the deep waters she swam. If only someone would. What if someone did? Completed 11/07-17 ©EscapeYourMiseryComplete
Breathe
Help, I have done it again I have been here many times before Hurt myself again today And the worst part is there's no one else to blame Be my friend, hold me Wrap me up, unfold me I am small, and needy Warm me up and breathe me Ouch, I have lost myself again Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found Yeah, I think that I might break Lost myself again and I feel unsafeComplete
Voices in My Head
Pain. Agonizing pain. That's all I feel. Voices. Whispering voices. That's all I hear. I hear them over and over inside of my head. I can't escape. I can't fight back. This is my life. This is my story. And if you can give me your time, I'll tell it to you. *Warning: contains themes of selfharm and mental disorders **Completed as of 7/30/18Complete
Drowning In Sorrow- Poetry
*Trigger Warning* Suicide, cutting, depression, abuse, self harm, death etc. ~I didn't know happiness as well as I know sorrow ❤️ Stay strong ❤️Complete
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
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