The War Inside My Head
- Reads 38
- Votes 4
- Parts 4
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Fri, Jun 17, 2016
"It was the day my life went crashing down, I felt has if it was my own living nightmare I couldn't wake up from. Even though I had my struggles getting right back up, I knew more dark days would come my way. So I had to learn the hard way, slowly controlling the way I feel."
All Rights Reserved
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My Mystery Boy
"Close your eyes and take a deep breath, tomorrow will be a better day" is what I keep telling myself but it's getting harder and harder for me to believe when everywhere I look my life is falling to pieces, but when I look into those eyes, the eyes that see me for me maybe just maybe things will be ok and maybe just maybe I'll learn to trust one day.Complete
Safe
I always thought I was safe, you know? I mean, it wasn't really something I thought about before. It's not like I had a reason to worry about being particularly unsafe. I've always been perfectly normal anyways. Nothing exciting or dangerous happened to me. I was a plain Jane in every sense of the phrase, and nothing strange or particularly astonishing ever happens to people like me. My entire philosophy, however, was completely and drastically changed after being attacked and raped one night. I probably would have been killed if it weren't for Drake Collins, the closed off "tough guy" of my school. He came to my rescue, and reluctantly swore not to breathe a word to anyone. Unfortunately, my attacker escaped. It was after that, that I closed myself off from the few people that I did talk to before. My safety, my very sense of security, was violated. My world was swept out from under my feet. Drake stayed by my side the entire time, helping me through my struggles. He became the only one I could talk to or confide in, and was soon the only reason I woke up each morning. He kept me safe.Complete
Almos
"Who are you?" I asked him but instead of answering my question he suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me for a run. I don't know where he will bring me but to my surprised, I let him. We run away from something I don't know. I just know that there is something that was pulling me through a deep unknown darkness. But he was there and now we are running away. I don't know who he is yet I trusted him with all my life. For that instant, I knew my heart belongs to him. *** *** "I didn't mean to love you yet I love you so much I cannot hold you so tight." I said those words and I couldn't stop myself not to feel the bitterness of the truth we are going to face. But still I hold her hand even though I know that it isn't right. We run and I save her. Yet, I don't know it was the beginning and I don't want to find out the ending. Still, the end is near and I cannot hold her even though my heart already belongs to her.
39 Days
I call this a beautiful journey of my lifeless existence. I don't know what's happening, but I seem to be living my life all over again, in my mind. It feels so real but seems like a dream to me. I'm confused, lost, worried, but I hope to find answers to what truly went wrong.Complete
Save Me
I was drowning. I knew that. I also knew that the hands around my throat, pushing me deeper into the river water was the cause. What I didn't know was who was drowning me and why. It hurt thinking. It hurt to do anything right now. But I still screamed under the cold water and pushed the hands away as hard as I could. It didn't have much effect. I fought and fought, but I was getting weaker, and colder. The pain was overbearing. I couldn't breathe. It was the worst pain imaginable; and as the hands that were around my neck were forcibly ripped off by some unknown force, I slipped deeper into the depths of the river. My hair was straight above me along with my arms. My eyes were open and the water burned. A darkness started to pull me under, taking the pain away. I felt a small pressure around my waist, before the darkness completely consumed me. The last thing I remember is thinking, save me.Complete
Drowning
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In Shadows of Night
I woke to a sudden breeze invading the warmth from the heavy blanket that caressed my skin. Here, alone with my thoughts, the still, calm quiet in the atmosphere is almost painful. I feel suffocated in the clingy, static air. In quiet, still moments like these, I can almost feel Him. I don't know who "Him" is, but I can feel his presence. It's almost calming, especially on fearful, anxiety fueled nights. Usually, he was the strongest when I had a nightmare. The nightmares weren't as common now, but, right after everything happened, I was having them every night. I'd wake up and swear I was drenched in blood, my eyes and lips sticky, my nose filled with the smell of iron and fuel. After everything, that's when Him first came. From there, he just never left. I can usually sense when Him is near. Today, though, his presence is stronger. I can almost feel Him next to me, weighing down the mattress. Some nights, I roll over and imagine how he looks, envision his smile or the sparkle in his eyes. He's never there and I'm left clutching to the thought that he exists, staring into empty air. Tonight, though, I swear I can reach out and touch him. Extending my hand gently, I sweep my hand out into the darkness and meet an inexplicable warmth. A scream rips from my lungs as hands cover my face and two icy blue eyes stare back at me, daring me to speak again. A soft cloth caressed my nose and mouth before I felt myself fade into bed. All Rights Reserved. Contains graphic descriptions of violence and assault. Contains battle scene.Complete
"Close your eyes and take a deep breath, tomorrow will be a better day" is what I keep telling myself but it's getting harder and harder for me to believe when everywhere I look my life is falling to pieces, but when I look into those eyes, the eyes that see me for me maybe just maybe things will be ok and maybe just maybe I'll learn to trust one day.
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