Just How I Feel - koalabears292 - Wattpad

Just How I Feel

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Parts 2
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Mature

bipolardisorder cutting depessed pot scars

Okay there are lots of people that I know that cutt and there not bad people because I am one of them. Some of them smoke pot and or cigarettes and I am one of them that smoke pot and I am quiting. I have been clean for two weeks and I have been trying to stop cutting for five years now and I just can seem to quit it helps me and harms me at the same time. But it just seemed like all I am doing is messing up my life and I just don't know why I still cutt and I just am depressed and have bipolar and its not the bipolar depression stuff and I am bipolar and have depression  and life just seems to hard for me to handle sometimes and it just seems like people makes it worst. I hope I could stop and that I would stop and that if I have kids and that they never make the mistake of making their first cutt like I did and I just hope that my past will help me stop cutting and that this is save some one else for cutting also and I just hope I could help someone like someone helped me.All Rights Reserved

bipolardisorder cutting depessed pot scars

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One night was all it took: Season one by brandon61386

**WARNING**18+ AND THERE WILL BE MANY SEASONS She meets the woman of her dreams...except she was never into women...until now. Love has no boundaries and this dirty lesbian romance proves that. Meet the group, and fall in love with this world of crazy excitement. One step at a time, I walk toward her. "He kissed me, and I kissed him back. But, in my mind, it was not him I was kissing. He tried hard to sleep with me. I pushed back and said no." My hands squeeze my keys to the point that I can feel the pain in my palm, but I ignore it. Shaking my head, I scoff again, growing angry and confused at the same time. I do not know what's happening to me. "I pushed back because all I could think of was you!" I say, wanting to scream at her. "You were the only person on my mind when I was with him. I felt gross and disgusted. But when he kissed me, I saw you and it turned me on. This wave of emotions pushes through me with every press of his lips, because...I saw you in my mind." My face is growing warmer, and I have to force myself to look away. My ears feel like they are on fire. I am grateful and confused at the same time. My mind seems twisted. I do not understand what is happening to me, or why these emotions are running through me. She looks at me like I am the crazy one. Her confused look grows. She steps down the two steps and walks toward me. "You are not lying? You truly left him and came home?" "Yes! Damn it!" My tone is loud and rude. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. I can feel that wild lust or love or whatever the hell you want to call it. It burns madly through me the closer I get to her. "What did you do to me, Natalia? I have always been able to walk into my house. Tonight, I could not because I was scared to go to my bedroom, because all I could picture was you and me in that damn bed. I'm not supposed to be like this! This is not...damn it!"

Undead by RA2995

Being trapped inside one place most of your life is suffocating. So I took it upon myself to go behind my mother's back every chance I got to leave. I never thought that one day I would be caught. My mother agrees to let me go to school with the neighboring pack's alpha. She only agreed to prove to me that was a monster to other species. To her a Vampire demon should never be left unattended. She may be right most of the times. This time I think my mother could be wrong. Mother doubted me only to be proved wrong. I can coexist with wolves, I've been doing it for years. Now the humans. They are tempting for a hybrid like me. I can push past their tempting blood for 8 hours each day. The thing is I might not want to but I can. Life just keep throwing obstacles my way. Now I have a beloved. An extremely tempting beloved. My demon loves the taste of blood. How long before she gets a taste or our mates?

Locked In by MichaelaCilley

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.

the suicide mind by Dileyne18xo

"and you left me with bad habits like cracking my knuckles and wearing your sweater because the smell of you still lingers. you left me chewing at the skin of my skin on my lips because maybe just maybe if it's gone the taste of you will be too, but the problem is i can't tear off my skin. so i'm left with the shivers down my spine when my body remembers your hands running up my back as you kissed me and it paralyzes me because i miss it. i miss you. i miss smiling between kisses because damn you just made me happy and I thought I made you just as happy because you would smile and whisper "what" but i would just shake my head and pull you close and it was real. it was. all of it. so why did you leave me? why?"

Captured By A Demon by shepherd4583

I finally escaped the factory, they kidnapped me from my college. Today is my birthday, and I had planned for it but nothing helped, only calming me down for the moment. A scream echoed out in the silent starry sky, my body freezing... They were looking for me, I just knew it. Again, I ran and jumping over the fence to the property, muscles burning, my breathing short. I look behind me, not seeing the light of the school anymore. I slow down, holding my breath again. Looking around, only trees and bugs surround me. I slowly sank to my knees, gripping the grass in between my fingers, to keep my breathing calm. Tears springing to my eyes and brushing the tears away, slowly getting back to normal. Suddenly, I felt someone behind me. I could feel its strength and power surround me, turning around to see a dark figure behind me. Glowing blue eyes stared at me, seeing it slowly walk toward me. My breathing becoming short again, a panic attack was on the verge. A hand was now on my shoulder and another on my cold cheek, making me look into his eyes, "Let me help you..." He whispered. Rubbing his thumb against my cheek, I slowly nod my head, when a pain began to form in my chest. I knew it was coming. I quickly get away, crawling a couple feet away. "Get away!" I yelled. My skin turning white and the pain erupting inside of me, feeling it try to escape, and I know if I let it. It will hurt this man. Suddenly, he was there in my view. Blue eyes staring at me, and then his lips were on my own. Gasping as I felt the pain beginning to disappear from inside me. Eyes drooping and my body relaxing against his. Soon, the kiss ended and I was empty. My eyes closing. "Don't worry, I will keep you safe..."

The Situation by everyone_loves_Harry

A few snippets so far: I felt naked in front of him. He's stripped me bare, pulled back my flesh, cracked open my rib cage to literally have my heart in his hands. He has the power to finish me off with one forceful squeeze or help hold all the pieces together while I work on mending and healing it. **** I take this time to breathe in the stale peacefulness of the room and wait for my body to properly wake up to get started with another day. My thoughts are soon abruptly stopped when I hear heavy breathing next to me, then I can feel the rise and fall of someone's chest and the heaviness of something wrapped around my torso. The imaginary glue in my eyes disappears as they open in a flash. To my utter disbelief and confusion, I find Harry sleeping...in my bed...with me. What, when how...what in the world is happening?! My internal panic worsens when I realize if he's here he saw the broken glass and blood in the room. FUCKING HELL! "Don't freak out, don't freak out," I talk out loud to myself but it's not fucking working. **** Last fucking chance to tell me I'm wrong and you're not hoeing around then sleep in my bed!" I say as harshly as I can. She doesn't say anything, doesn't even bat an eye at what I said. I pick up her phone on my nightstand and throw it at the closed door and watch her body tense up in anger. Her fists are white from how tightly she is clamping her fingers in her palm and her jaw is clenched. "You said it yourself, we're just friends. Friends don't act jealous like this," she quietly speaks. "I am not jealous; I couldn't give a fuck less. Have nothing to be jealous of." She takes a step back like I hit her, I can see her shattering right in front of me. "You know your way out. Get the fuck out of my apartment now," she walks over to grab her phone that bounced off the wall and walks out, she stops before she closes the door all the way.

Her Secret by awkwardlyrando

I sighed heavily as I scanned the forest. I had heard something or someone to be specific, wandering about. I decided I would leave once I affirmed they weren't a danger. "What are you doing in my land, human?" A deep enchanting voice spoke I sighed once again "I'm not human, just smell like one" I spoke as I turned around to see the most stunning man I have ever seen "Mate" he spoke "Find another female, Lycan" I spat He only growled at me in response. Men. My brother was the same way. It's kinda funny how all, correction, most shifter men think alike. I would've thought he would be different, after all, he is Lycan. Something of myths. But then again, so are the supernatural. I turned away from him, not even looking at him. I didn't want to remember what he looked like so I didn't give him a second glance. I heard him move closer. I quickly grabbed the knife out of my holster and threw it at a tree next to him. He stops moving then. "Heed my warning. It's the only one you'll get" I spoke coldly "I will find you. Then you will have no escape from me" he spoke as he backed away I could understand. Lycans, like lion-shifters, were going extinct. Therefore mates were even more important to them. But, even if I understood I still didn't want to be someone's mate. After all, I was Destiny Requalhi, Creator and Destructor of All. ------------------------------ Destiny Requalhi, a girl with a rough past and set in stone future. She wanted to be a normal lioness when she grew up but got so much more. She constantly is looking behind her back ready for a random attack to bestow itself upon her. How will she react when her biggest enemy comes back from death? ------------------------------ MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME READERS! Started - 9/12/19 Ended - 11/12/19 © Copyright All Rights Reserved 2019 awkwardlyrando(Hit me up any time about the book)

Children of the Fallen: Bloodlines (BOOK #3) by ggwrites_1864

" I scrub and scrub trying to make it go away. I'd happily go back to walking around internally dead than whatever this is. Watching the crimson substance go down the drain and off my skin- out of sight, out of mind, except it's not going away. I hated that pain was temporary but this... this pain I don't want it. I don't want to feel this. Tears begin to well in my eyes making my vision blurry. Weak. Anger surges in my veins and impulsively my fist connects with a tile on the wall of the shower shattering it. This is emotional. I don't do that. I don't do this- I don't cry in the shower. I don't let my emotions dictate my actions I haven't in a long time. It's stupid. It's childish. It's weak. I glance down at my knuckles on my right hand, watching the tiny cuts heal. Shouting, I punch the tile over and over and over again until blood runs down my arm and drips onto the shower floor. I reach my severely broken hand out under the water, momentarily stinging as water hits the open wounds which unfortunately close over seconds later. I crack whatever bones need it, back into place and look around me. The back wall of the shower is destroyed, shards of tile and blood scattered on the floor. As I stand under the scalding hot stream staring into nothing my mind falls silent for a split second. A few seconds of solace until everything comes crashing back. The tightness in my chest and my stomach, the cloudiness in my brain, the anger, the sadness. It all comes back. I sit down away from the shattered pieces of tile, curling my legs up and letting the near boiling water hit my back. There was a feeling of relief in losing everything I was. Whatever it is that has clawed it's way to the surface, I want it gone. I want that relief back. "

Scars Can Fade// A Luke Hemmings Fanfiction by xxx_trin_xxx

I cut through my skin making an "x" on my wrist. "This is why I don't trust people... " I thought. "He doesn't understand the pain I go through, no one does." I cut through my skin again making a deeper cut as blood rushed down my arm. "Everyone I meet leaves me. He's just like all the others. He would stay if he cared. It's all my fault isn't it? I drove him away with all of my nonsense, carelessness, and stupidity." Negative thoughts rushed through my head as the blade ran through my skin one last time before I blacked out. I woke up in a hospital bed. Sitting in the chair next to me was the one and only: Luke. The one person I didn't want to see here. The one who caused this mess. "Baby, I was so worried about you! As soon as I got a call, I found the earliest plane back here. Are you ok? Baby tell me you're ok!" He choked between sobs. Maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought he was...

My Prison Called Life (Bio 1) by Dani_Wolf_TheAmazon

This is a bio about me and what I went through as a child. You see I was abused not just by both parents but my whole family. I know you guys probably heard about all of this before but I want to write this. It will help me forget about my past and let me move on. I was suicidal and I wanted to give up but I didn't. So this is a story of what happened before Ways To Stop Bullying and after it. Journey with me when you see the hell I went through and how I made it out to be the person I am today. To be honest this is something that scares me more than anything in the world by writing this. But I want to and need to. To be warned it will get ugly and it might not look that bad to most people who probably had it worse than me. But this isn't why I'm writing this to get sympathy I'm writing this so I can finally move on and say. I done this I lived through it. I doubt anyone would read this and if they do I doubt many will but I don't care I'm writing this for me and if it helps others? I'm glad so I don't know what else to say so this is all.

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Slide 1 of 10

One night was all it took: Season one cover

Locked In cover

the suicide mind cover

Captured By A Demon cover

The Situation cover

Her Secret cover

Children of the Fallen: Bloodlines (BOOK #3) cover

Scars Can Fade// A Luke Hemmings Fanfiction cover

My Prison Called Life (Bio 1) cover

One night was all it took: Season one

WARNING18+ AND THERE WILL BE MANY SEASONS She meets the woman of her dreams...except she was never into women...until now. Love has no boundaries and this dirty lesbian romance proves that. Meet the group, and fall in love with this world of crazy excitement. One step at a time, I walk toward her. "He kissed me, and I kissed him back. But, in my mind, it was not him I was kissing. He tried hard to sleep with me. I pushed back and said no." My hands squeeze my keys to the point that I can feel the pain in my palm, but I ignore it. Shaking my head, I scoff again, growing angry and confused at the same time. I do not know what's happening to me. "I pushed back because all I could think of was you!" I say, wanting to scream at her. "You were the only person on my mind when I was with him. I felt gross and disgusted. But when he kissed me, I saw you and it turned me on. This wave of emotions pushes through me with every press of his lips, because...I saw you in my mind." My face is growing warmer, and I have to force myself to look away. My ears feel like they are on fire. I am grateful and confused at the same time. My mind seems twisted. I do not understand what is happening to me, or why these emotions are running through me. She looks at me like I am the crazy one. Her confused look grows. She steps down the two steps and walks toward me. "You are not lying? You truly left him and came home?" "Yes! Damn it!" My tone is loud and rude. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. I can feel that wild lust or love or whatever the hell you want to call it. It burns madly through me the closer I get to her. "What did you do to me, Natalia? I have always been able to walk into my house. Tonight, I could not because I was scared to go to my bedroom, because all I could picture was you and me in that damn bed. I'm not supposed to be like this! This is not...damn it!"