Broken

I feel like a target at the tips of the paparazzi waiting to be pinned down, life is getting awfully bad well faster than I thought. I feel empty yet this emptiness is heavy. I feel like I have lost a part of me that will never be found. I feel that, that part of me has been shot; losing more blood than expected the doctors and I know clearly that I might not make it. In the dark alone thinking of ways to end this pain. I have nobody to love me or to even care and I quote words that strike me all the time: "If you'd only understand dear, nobody wants you anywhere".
I sit here thinking of the next move, I think of death and I quickly erase that one out of my mind. What do I do when things turn this way, I feel so rejected, not like I am not used to rejection, but this one is a struck in the heart and tears to the eyes. It hurts. I feel rejected by self, by people and by life. But you wouldn't understand what I am talking about. Yaya, you will try to compare your problems to mine but we are all different. As much as I don't care whether people love me or not, when it comes to people I care about, trust me I do.
How did this all come to this? Was this not predicted? Are we not meant to be? Should we fight for what is ours or have you given up, well you wouldn't know how it feels to be left by one that you truly love so that they settle for way less than you expected. But its life hey, I guess I just was supposed to go through it more than many people. I was born and made to be rejected just like a piece of shit.
I wish I was perfect. That everything I did and said and wrote was perfect. How I wish I could be able to erase what I wrote, undo what I did and rewind what I said. How life has just too much flaws for me and it's hurting, hurting how I cannot see the direction that I am pointed to.