Personal Entries - a Way to Cope (Trigger Warning)
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Personal recap/reflection over what's been happening in my life over the past few months, experience with anxiety and bi polar, struggles and weaknesses, drug use and addiction, how to achieve happiness, and run through of my day as it's happening. I don't know if I'll be able to write daily, but I hope that I do. Each day will be sectioned apart by 'acts', or mini-chapters. I'm honestly posting this as a way to cope with what's been happening, I figure if I "confess" and admit to half of the shit I'm doing I might feel a little less guilty and at fault all of the time. Fingers crossed. Everything that goes on in these entries are events that actually happened to me, the only thing that's changed are the identities of the people in them for confidentiality reasons.
Also, please feel free to leave your response, any thoughts or questions you may have. I have no problem with answering any of your questions or explaining something, in fact I'd actually appreciate feedback and positive support. Thank you.
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Have you ever had one of those terrible yet annoyingly pivotal moments? You know, that monumental fragment of time that flips everything you have ever known. That plot twist second that completely takes you by surprise. The one just before the storm hits and everything goes to hell. Yes? Because you see, that moment happens to be my whole damn life. It wasn't always like this though. I used to have a pretty mundane existence, happy to just get good grades and be around my friends. God I wish I could get that simplicity back, I'd never complain it was boring again. But I know I'm not going to ever get back my old life because well... I died. (Kinda) But I woke up. And I was thrilled, beyond grateful I wasn't dead. But then I realized that there was one minor detail that had changed about my reality. I was given the chance to live but it turns out I woke up as the villainess in an otome game my friend used to be obsessed with - Kingdom of freaking Hearts (I added the freaking in there for effect, it's just Kingdom of Hearts) Where, for the record, the villainess only has two possible endings 1) execution and 2) getting exiled. So Fate was like, "Don't worry, I'll save you. Here's a chance to live" and then was like "psyche, screw you. You're still going to die but I'll let you suffer a little first." So now, if only to annoy Fate by proving it wrong, I am determined to survive. I can and I will if I play by these simple rules: 1) Befriend Heroin 2) Avoid Aryn Edwards at All Costs as well as other capture targets And 3) Be the top student at the academy and become an invaluable asset to my Kingdom so I become indispensable, thus unkillable. I'm determined, stubborn, persistent and I will live passed 16. Fate made a big mistake setting me up to die. Since it threw this plot twist at me, I figure I'll return the favor. I'll be the biggest plot twist Fate never saw coming...
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