Insecure •E.D•
- Reads 12
- Votes 1
- Parts 1
MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Sun, Nov 20, 2016
I am and forever will be insecure, about my body, my life and me. That's the way I function I can't help it. I would look at the girls who would walk by, they had everything I've wanted, boys, popularity. There body was perfect, skinny, a face that only a sculpture could make.
And there was me...
The fat girl sitting alone in the corner of the lunch room, the one that was admiring girls that were 10x as beautiful then she would ever be. The one that cuts her pain away, making new scars day after day. Stumbling and falling. The one that's starving in hunger so someday she would be like them. Yet that would never happen, because the smile she once had is gone, because the smile was flooded with insecureness, and sadness. She wouldn't ever be happy.
Because she won't be there to see that when she looked at that boy with such love and affection that would be him, looking at her like he's the only thing he's seen. Because when she's crying at night slowly falling at rock bottom on how she won't even find and be loved, he was sitting outside thinking about her. Yet she won't ever realized that she was wanted, that she belonged in someone's heart.
And she won't be there to see that when she left, there was still a piece of her stuck in someone's heart. Making him feel,
Insecure.
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.Complete
Too Afraid To Hope
I stare at the girl in the mirror, feeling the horrible scratchy material of the skinny jeans, harsh against my skin. I hate skinny jeans. But I want to fit in. I want to be one of those pretty, confident skinny girls. I want to look at the mirror and acknowledge that I am beautiful and appealing to boys. I'm not just a fat lump. I want to feel love like in the love stories. I want to know that someone out there is right for me. That someone loves me. I know that my Mom and my big brother love me. But that's all. I'm not even one of those half-decent girls that have one best friend: I am no one. **** This is the story of thirteen year old, Adeline, who is mercilessly made fun of because of her size. This is the story of how she proved those girls wrong. This proves that if you're not happy either, YOU CAN CHANGE!Complete
reminisce.
For the first ten years of my life I always imagined myself a princess. I always saw myself being an amazing, and beautiful person. Everyone saw me as a loving girl who just wanted happiness for everyone and only wanted to see people smile. Until the eleventh grade, when my crush Rayan Lopez called me ugly. I adored that boy with everything, since 7th grade, and that was the day.... I realized I wasn't a princess after all. It's amazing how quickly someone can defeat your dream with the utterance of one word. Whoever said words don't hurt, must have never experienced this. Twenty years later, I cringe whenever I hear it and am immediately brought back to that rainy afternoon when the love for myself diminished. That's why when I opened up my mail and found an invitation to my high school reunion... I nearly passed out.Complete
Love In Boxing Ring
" this all is your fucking fault" all of a sudden I was slammed against my locker,towering over me was my arch enemy 'Sam the Dam'. My head was pounding against the hard surface,I hissed in pain glaring straight to him. He was fuming with anger like a predator ready to attack his prey. He stretched his right hand to grab my neck and placed the left one on my shoulder to keep me still. He lowered his chin to my ear and snarled "you are fucking dead 'Meth' ,if I have a slightest clue of your involvement in this shit, I will hunt you down till your last breath". I was choking on air and my vision was a blur ,for a while I thought I was going to die .Mustering all the courage that I could have found, I yanked him away from me. Mean while I was gasping for the air, that dickhead had his usual cocky smirk. I aimed at him and broke his nose ,blood oozing in droplets" want to mess with me Sammy! , first of all clear your own shit, you son of a bitch! "with that I punched hard-on his lower abdomen while he was still holding his bleeding nose, I left the locker room with a sense of victory. Two competent boxers who can't stand each other for a moment without insulting.... Ultimately fall in love. Man*man gay romance leave if you are homophobic.Complete
The Rich Emo: Ouran High School Host Club
Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.Complete
His Waitress
"Jess, would you please get his order." Lisa winked at me and pointed the guy near the door. She is my one and only bestfriend since kindergarten. "Okay." I wore my waitress apron and put my phone and car keys on the pocket. I dragged myself to the guy's table to get his order. "Good Morning, Sir. Can I take your order?" The guy put the menu down on the table and he's checking me out! Jerk. "I'll just have the waitress in front me. Name your price." He winked at me. "Jerk!" I got the glass of water from the other table and poured it from his head to his pants so that it looked like that he'd pee on it and I stormed out from the restaurant. Who does he think he is?!? --------------------------------------------------- Jessica is the only child of the highest tax payers in the country and belong to the top 5 richest persons in the world. Her parents own a hundred of five star restaurant chains and hotel & casinos in the country and a hundred more around the world. Her parents love and protect her so much because they don't want publicity for their daughter. They want their daughter to have her private life. Jessica doesn't want other people to know that she's the daughter of the richest couple in the country but of course almost everyone knows about it. She wants to have a simple life. One thing about Jessica is that, she hates guys because she was 'only' cheated and used by four guys already. They used her money and these four guys, she'll see them again at school and that bothers her so much. She don't feel love or hurt from guys anymore. Her heart is numb. It feels nothing. For guys. These four guys made Jessica a cold and heartless person. Heartless only for guys but she's really a sweet girl once you get to know her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Can a playboy jerk turns a cold and heartless girl, who hates guys back to her sweet old self?Complete
Almost Lover {Kiingtong FF}
{Completed} ==================================== "I'm scared Will." She whispered while looking up at the stars. "Of what?" I asked and turned to look down at her while she rested her head on my chest. "Of getting hurt again," she said while turning her body so she could look at me. "Don't worry. Nothing will hurt you as long as I'm here. I won't hurt you again Isabel, and I promise that." "Always?" She asked and I nodded. "Always," I assured her and sealed off the night with one kiss. ==================================== Love. It works out in many different ways, but does it really last? Sometimes lovers fall apart. Heart break seems to be the only way to go. Everything changes for Will when he meets Isabel. If only things didn't work out the way they do. Somethings are perfect, then you realize that they get ruined. Sometimes you just have to make it last. You have to love someone because you don't know whether the next time you see them will be your last. Hearts are torn apart, and burned to the ground. But how long will that last for? People change people...that's the secret of life. It's true. When you leave someone it doesn't just affect that one person, it affects everyone. Change is change, but can you learn to change back? It's only a matter of time until you lose the one you love. Sometimes it won't last for that long. You might see them one day, and when that day comes it could be the last. But then there's that one possibility where you just lose them forever. Will that happen in this book? Or will love prevail? Read to find out! {Kiingtong Fanfiction}Complete
Scars
"If I risk it all, could you break my fall? How do I live? How do I breathe? When your not here i'm sufficated. I wanna feel love, run through my blood. Tell me is this where I give it all up? For you, I have to risk it all, Cuz the Writing's on the Walls." This is a story about a boy and a girl. She loves him, and he want's her dead. But he vowed to keep her safe..But how can he keep such a dangerous vow? *EXCERPT FROM BOOK BELOW* "Our story is like the movies. The movies with the happy endings?" I yelled as he got out of the car. "No! Our ending is nothing like those movies Vana. Our story is the both of us risking it all and then ending up right next to Kyle." He said and sighed. And he was right. Our ending is that one fucked up movie that no on wants to go see. "SO YOU AREN'T WILLING TO RISK IT ALL!?! I yelled louder as the rain came pouring down. He turned on his heal and stomped twords me pulling me close to him leaveing no space between us. His lips came crashing down on mine making the butterflies in my stomach errupt with pleaseure. He pulled away and sighed as did I. He grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over the knuckle of my thumb over my tattoo thanks to his stupid game of dare or dare. "Look at the perspective of things Vana. You might see a smily face but I don't. I see a sad face. You don't want my happy ending. Trust me." He said and sighed again. "I love you so much Vana." He said and kissed the top of my head and then walked back over to his house. But he didn't really love me. If he did he would be willing to risk it all just like I am. But I am left just like Kyle had suspected. Alone and heart broken in the rain. Because I was always the one willing to risk it all. For him.Complete
Dear Scott
"Growing up around fairytales, Disney princesses and teen films, we are raised to believe that happy endings are always in store for us. But more often than not, reality sinks in, and the happy ending doesn't occur. Especially in high school. The main reason I liked this book so much was because it was so real. It was a love that was destined to crumble from the start, and yet, you kept pushing your luck. We've all been there. The late night texts from your crush waking you up to talk about nothing, the unexpected butterflies when you see him, the gross flaws he possess that you don't seem to notice, or the small things he does that turn you on. Most importantly, we learn that love truly is blind. We're unobservant to the world around us when our teenage love obsession is staring down at us with those big, brown, adorable eyes of theirs. And then when we wake up from this dream-like state that is a first love, we realize that he's not this perfect, older, mature man... but this boy."Complete
My Teddy
The corner of his mouth tilts upward slightly. I smile again. A smile!? A tiny one, but still. "Hm. So I got you to smile, that's progress, yeah? Can I get your name now?" I ask, swinging my feel a little. He shakes his head shyly, his mouth not moving at all. Geez! Why do I want to hear this dude talk so much? "Okay, that's fine. I can give you a nickname." I offer happily. He looks up from his book, raising his eyebrows. I just stare for a moment. He has nice eyes. Pretty brown chocolate orbs. They remind me so much of....... "Teddy." He shakes his head immediately, frowning. "What, why not? You remind me of my old teddy bear. He was a good listener and he didn't talk much..... just like you." I say softly, tilting my head. He continues to shake his head. I fold my arms, leaning back in my seat. "Yeah, it's definitely sticking. Teddy.....It has a nice ring to it, yeah?" He sighs, the first sound I have ever heard him make. "No." . . . *Jordan* Teddy!? Seriously!? She gave me a fucking NICKNAME!? What the hell does this girl want!? I stuff my hands into my pockets, walking down the busy street. Forget about her. She's just a annoying pretty girl, she'll go away. Everybody does. She HAS to go away. *Spoiler alert*: she doesn't. Don't get close to people or they'll end up getting hurt. That's my mindset. I've been through enough of that. This girl doesn't belong in my world anyway. She's too innocent. *Mature content* {Just a quick update, I am basically rewriting the story. I wrote it when I was in 8th grade and it makes me cringe every time I try to go back and edit it so keep in mind that it'll get better}Complete
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.
More detailsContent Guidelines