Dad, will we go somewhere in these vacations, he asked excitedly. No, i am tired.Okay, but can we go to the park? Please dad, all my friends are going somewhere or the other. I told you i am tired, let me sleep go with your mom, he shouted. For a six year old, even the park or the mall nearby meant a lot, the only purpose being, spending some time with his father.
Tomorrow is his birthday, his mom whispered. He was listening to the conversation excitedly hiding behind. Invite his friends, arrange it on your own, i have a meeting can't come.But, he wants to spend time with you. Can't you see i am busy, all his demands are fulfilled by me only.
At 12, Mom will dad accompany us for the trip this time? And he got the usual reply no son, he is busy. He knew that the answer will be this only but then again he had some hope that someday his father will spend time with him. The things flashed in his mind, his father was not cruel but he was busy. Not to watch his son walking for the first time, he would buy him a bicycle but would never accompany him, busy to attend his school functions, where his eyes would search for his father in the audience, knowing that he won't be there.
For him, his mother was everything,but god took her away.Now, the hostel used to be his house, there was no home. Dad never came to visit him, no phone calls, no one to share, no birthday wishes, nothing, and on the 18th the NOTE read, "Dad you were always a part of my world, but i was never part of yours, hope to be a better son next time. His father shivered, tears rolled down his cheeks, but it was too late, too late to rectify."
"Money can't buy you happiness, which family gives. Its always good to be happy than rich"
"I love you, I would never judge you for anything, especially your past. I want to spend my future with you. I want to marry you and have kids-if you want kids, I'm okay with cats. once I have enough to money, we'll move far from this shit-hole, we'll buy a beautiful house. one with a pool and we won't need a big house, I want you to feel comfortable." he pauses for a little, I'm still wheezing.
"but if we ever do have kids, I'd want two girls and two boys, we'll raise them to be outgoing and outspoken-kinda like you. I can picture us and our kids gathering fireflies in a jar. I can picture us going on road trips. I can picture us growing old together, I'd love you just the same. when I die, I'd want to have my ashes put in a jar with your ashes-it seems odd but I think it's cool to join together as one-and I'd like for our kids to release them into different oceans so we could be in all your favorite places." I had not clue where Steven was going with this, and I'm sure he didn't either, but it calmed me down.
as soon as he stopped talking, I leaned in and kissed him. we stayed like this for a while. I pulled away, in tears again. "you're such a beautiful dreamer." I whispered in his ear, smiling.
"dreams are for sleeping. babe, it's our reality. it can happen if you want it." he tells me. he has such a beautiful mind.