Knife.

The world of the Disc is a big place. So big in fact, that some of it's smaller Gods have gone off the idea of being sardonic sods on top of a mountain and have gone to find happiness amongst the mortals, as well as making a little money off them. After all, there's nothing more useless than a non-working celestial immigrant say many of the more right-winged clerics of Ankh-Morpork.