Puns, comebacks, one-liners - humor
- Reads 87,835
- Votes 4,067
- Parts 151
Ongoing10m
Last published Sun, Sep 23, 2018
Did you hear about the guy who's entire left side got cut off ? He's all right now.
(Story was originally just "puns." But I changed it to more variety)
Trust me, if you like puns, sarcasm, one liners, comebacks, jokes, self deprecating jokes, more puns, and just funny things in general, did I say puns? You'll like this.
All Rights Reserved
#758
puns
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
The Bad Jokes #2: The Blonde
My cousin always referred to us as the bad jokes, as in...a blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. I'm the blonde, and this is my story. When I was 18, a psychic told me to watch for the man with two hearts. That didn't make much sense, so I lived my life, not thinking about her fortune for my life. Then I met Wyatt and we fell in love. Until his ex-fiancee came back to him, and he chose her. Her heart. My heart. Two hearts. He's back, trying to explain things to me, trying to win me back and in the meantime, I'm also dealing with a stalker. But Wyatt's helping with that problem. Unfortunately, he's causing another problem: he's not taking no for an answer.Complete
The Bad Jokes #1: The Redhead
My cousin always referred to us as the bad jokes, as in...a blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. I'm the redhead, and this is my story. When I was 18, a psychic told me to wait for the man with the scar. For five years I waited and then suddenly, there he was in front of me one night. No mistake -- this was the man. We got off to a bad start, and I just kept making things worse chasing after him. Until he let me know in no uncertain terms that he wasn't interested in me. So I gave him what he wanted and ignored him. Then he decided he wanted me. And him getting me back was the least of our problems.Complete
YAS.
BOOK TWO. This the sequel you have been waiting for my wattpadians that have read my story before this WHAT. This is the sequel man. Are you not squealing? Really? Okay. Fine. Be that way. Funny stories about me and my friends, my family and embarrassing moments that have made me feel emotions. Please read the first book. Vote, comment, laugh, cry, make a reading list dedicated to this story. Read on readers.Complete
Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓
(Editing) His eyes widen and his lips part in pain as he stares wordlessly at me and then at the large blotch that forms around his chest . He clutches it as he coughs in pain. I didn't get to push him into a sewer, but this feels so much better. I sardonically chuckle to myself before leaning in to whisper into his ear. "Gotcha." - - - I was a nobody . A big fat wallflower that was always in the background. The only mistake I made was confessing to the school's prince. That day I was completely and utterly humiliated. It's been two years and now I'm back. Back for some sweet revenge. #Winner of the Pre-Watty awards for best laugh worthy book. *Filled with humor and jokes that can't stop you from chuckling ;) # 1 ranking in Stop bullying (10/5/18) #11 In Humor (1/6/18) ©Nikithasuz123 Cover credits to unreadymage. Amazing cover XDComplete
Chase Me
"Y-you can't run away you have our baby," he says screaming "Bella Open the door" He yells and hits the window. "Please come back baby I'm sorry!" He looks at me and through the window, I can tell he isn't sorry. "I'm sorry" he repeats and I feel tears coming. "You...hit me" I sob. "I didn't mean to I was drunk!" he taps the window "Please baby I will work on myself, just get inside" He whispers. I start panicking. What happens when he finds me? Will he hurt me? Or kill me? I lock the car and turn the engine on. "baby please please" He sobs. I drive out of the garage and start the GPS. Once I do that I stop on the light and put my hand on my bump. "It's just you and me, " I rub my belly and start driving. This is it.Complete
O̸N̸ ̸TWO L̸E̸V̸E̸L̸S̸ ̸
𝐴𝑙𝑦𝑠𝑠𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒. 𝐻𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑡ℎ 𝑐𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐷𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑒𝑛, 𝑎 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑎𝑛... 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠, 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑠𝑘𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑤 𝑢𝑝 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑡 𝑐𝑖𝑟𝑐𝑢𝑚𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑦. 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝐴𝑙𝑦𝑠𝑠𝑎, 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑎 𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑦𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑡ℎ, 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑡... 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠, 𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑢𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑠.Complete
My cousin always referred to us as the bad jokes, as in...a blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. I'm the blonde, and this is my story. When I was 18, a psychic told me to watch for the man with two hearts. That didn't make much sense, so I lived my life, not thinking about her fortune for my life. Then I met Wyatt and we fell in love. Until his ex-fiancee came back to him, and he chose her. Her heart. My heart. Two hearts. He's back, trying to explain things to me, trying to win me back and in the meantime, I'm also dealing with a stalker. But Wyatt's helping with that problem. Unfortunately, he's causing another problem: he's not taking no for an answer.
More detailsContent Guidelines