The Badass Exorcism Company
- Reads 71
- Votes 3
- Parts 1
Our story begins with an exorcist helping a family purify their daughter (with the help of a solid gold 45.) of the demon that has possessed her. Soon after that the exorcist and his squire Michael get orders from on high to hunt down a demon that is terrorizing the earth. So Michael and exorcist set off on a journey to find and kill this demon with the help of their holy weapons. Filled with crude humor and a realistic dynamic between the 2. (seriously some of there conversations have very real roots in some conversations I've had with my friends) This is a book for those of you who can watch Jim Jefferies without cringing. Needless to say it does contain sex, violence, LOTS of cussing, and various other thing that have a habit to piss people off. So if you're a small child or someone with a stick in their ass I don't recommend this for you.
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Aekhem
We have been taught we are the only ones that can hurt ourselves. We are the only ones that could end this Earth. We have been taught wrong. There are forces surrounding us, controlling us, watching us and making sure we fail as a race. There are also forces helping us be better, guiding us towards a more enlightened present and future and both forces have been around us forever. But what if these forces are and have been in a war for thousands and thousands of years. On one side, they want to slave us on the other they need us to be prosperous and reach happiness with ourselves and our lives. What if Angels were just like us? They have their strengths we have our own. What if they had the same issues as we do? Up there or wherever they are coming from. We have a mission in this lifetime, they have the same mission through all their existence. We change our mission with every lifetime, they don't. This would make some Angels feel anger for humankind and there are those who see it as the Father's command and wish and comply just as they were told to do. It is written they had a weakness for human females and it is also written they procreated with them. This story is about the first Angel born from a human female and an Angel who has lived among us since the beginning of time but we have come to the end of times and with it, Angels, the ones on our side, the ones against us, the ones who don't care, and us humans, are facing the end of existence right now.Complete
The Devils Daughter
"I'll make a deal with you"I said smiling sadisticly and slowly walking towards him. "wh-who are you"the Alpha said. "Oh you know your usual run in demon"I said smirking with my trident. I came closer to his ear and said"The devils Daughter". --------------------- When everyone dies they go to heaven or hell. The Angels fight the demons. The Demons fight the Angels. The Angels make the world peaceful. The Demons kill senselessly and make violence. The Angels kill the demons. The Demons kill innocent and Angels. But there is a new powerful Demon in hell that is nearly impossible to kill. Angels tried to kill this new being but when they return their near death and their wings are almost ripped off. This Demon was born a human but turned into a beast that only knows how to kill. this Demon was worshiped in hell and in Earth or heaven they shake in fear. The devil himself raised her himself and now she is known as DD. The Devils Daughter............ ------------ There is Language. Beware, this was made when i was like around 10 years old...you have been warnedComplete
~~Young~~
...until the angels save us all. Gage is the most efficient killer hell has ever seen, and its his job to take out those on earth causing headaches for those of the future damned Lucifer holds in favor. And he loved every minute of it. He was perfectly content in his life, enjoying all the pleasures that his and any other world had to offer. He never failed to conquer anything, whether women or the task set at hand, until Sera came along... Plagued with the demons from her past and the need to protect her sister from ever having to suffer the same, Sera was determined to change the world she lived in for the better. As the leader of the Better Angels, a vigilante group known for its success, she had found the place where she could do just that. But when she loses one of her own on a mission to take out the worst offender of all, her very own Uncle, Sera's dedication is questioned by the other leaders of her organization and she is suspended from the Angels. As Sera begins to question her life and her duties, so does Gage, because upon meeting Sera he realizes she's the one puzzle he may never be able to solve. And that, in turn, would mean failing for the first time in his immortal life. Gage is the last distraction Sera needs in her life right now though, not when she knows every movement she makes is watched and does her best to brush him off. Gage, however, refuses to let such and insignificant mortal break his winning streak. But for Gage to succeed in this wholly personal challenge it may mean failing at the mission Lucifer himself had ordered him to complete. Inspired by Hollywood Undead's, Young, this is the second in my Music is My Muse Series. All stories in this series may not share the same plot line, but their common thread is the music they are inspired by.Complete
My Harem of Devils
Here comes another Harem story. Jake, a Knight of God. What will he do when he meets a Devil member who almost kills him? What will happen when his childhood friend comes back into his life? WTF?! His best guy friend is a cross dresser? What about the peeping neighbor next door? How about the action? Well there's plenty of fights, even with his own parents. Each girl will get there point of view in each chapter that they come out in. Well just read the story. Warning, it is pretty ecchi. Some stuff may be a bit mature, but you'll get used to it. If you like comedy, romance, harem, and action, then this story is for you.Complete
The Fallen Creator
A Tale of Chaos, Comedy, and Cosmic Power Lucian just wanted to slack off. Maybe read a book. Maybe sleep. But fate-or rather, a sentient, snarky, and totally unhelpful book-had other plans. One moment, he's struggling to get into a guild (big surprise, no one wants him). The next, he's thrown into a Hell Sphere, running for his life, unlocking forbidden powers, and apparently gaining a butler from another dimension who insists on calling him "Master." Oh, and did we mention his little brother just got kidnapped by a mysterious, all-powerful figure who left behind only one clue? "Get stronger. Survive the Tower of Trials. Or else." Now, Lucian has to climb a 1000-floor death tower, fight nightmare creatures, die (a lot), revive, die again, and somehow figure out how not to be the weakest person in existence. The book-yes, the book that talks back-has its own agenda, pushing him toward godlike abilities while withholding just enough information to keep him frustrated. Between dodging death, dealing with his psychotic raid partner Luna, arguing with an eldritch butler, and making questionable life choices, Lucian is on a path to uncovering the truth about his past, his powers, and why the universe seems to have it out for him. Will he survive? Will he ever get a guild to accept him? Will he ever not regret opening that book? Emma what the hell is this story Only one way to find out. I think this is a good book I hope you like
The Nephilim of Kouh Academy ( Highschool DXD)
Kouh academy was now a cou'ed school , many boys were transfered including a young man with a unique presence that no supernatural creature could identify . Not only was his presence unique but his appearance attracted countless females . He was a child of a human and a angel , he is a Nephilim , a powerful creature that hasn't existed since the dawn of creation . How will this boy fare in a world he still doesn't understand , he is desired by all factions as his abilities rival that of God. My idea of a nephilim is adapted from the supernatural series , if u don't know what that is or haven't gotten to season 12 yet than i suggest you google it under (Jack Kline ) Also i will be using Licht Jekylland from servamp , i will only use his appearance and not his personality . I do not own Highschool dxd , Licht or the nephilim idea from supernatural !!Complete
Born In Hell
"I can't believe I'm making a deal with the devil," he said chuckling. "Well I'm only his daughter." "And you're just as bad." I smirked at him as he held his hand out, for me to take. "Am I really?" ************************* Oh hey there, didn't see you. Come on step right into my description. Well isn't this a pleasant surprise. Well have a seat, kick up your feet and grab some loco hot coco, because shit is about to go down. No no, not in the dms, but here on earth. Father let me out to play and boy am I ever. Ah I miss the screams in hell already. But you know what I'm not missing is being kept from my toys. Earth is where all the fun happens. So why would I stay in hell all the time. The thing is though, I really hate for everyone to be all on my ass like Kimmy Cakes, so this is a story all about how my life got fucked all the way around. I'd like to take a minute- just sit right there. I'll tell all about the story of life not in hell. P.S. This isn't your typical story of your average girl, so don't go mistaken me for no basic bitch or Kali. Oh you know what since you've just now crossed the dark side. Yeah it's official now, you've already read up to this point, which means you just crossed over. But anywho lets just SPOIL the whole thing. I get the boy lol jk he dies in the end. I mean don't we all. There's only life and death in this world. I mean there's also that awkward moment inbetween. And-... Seriously why are you still reading just look at 1 and see how it goes. I mean this is the story of how my life got fucked all the way around after all.Complete
Forbidden
Gia Moore has been an orphan for her entire life. She doesn't know who, or where, her biological parents are. Shes been in different foster homes and different schools. She doesn't have many friends because of it. Her closest friend is her sketch book. The foster home shes been in for two years is the best one shes been in and she isn't looking forward for the next transfer. Her foster mother treats her as her own child. A strange guy comes to Gia's current school and weird events follow his transfer. Gia knows there is something different about him and decides to dig deeper into his history and discovers secrets that she wishes she never found. ~~~ Alexander Burns has the perfect life. He's got the looks, the money, the popularity, and everything else. Imagine his frustration when his parents decide to move into a smaller house and smaller town. He transfers to a different school with different people. What everybody else doesn't know is that his last school and lifestyle wasn't at all normal. It included violence and a lot of killing. His life was always on the line of life and death. Alek meets a beautiful and alluring girl. Her personality and looks draws him. Shes different from what hes seen. He feels there is something about her that she doesn't even know about. Alek knows she doesn't know anything about her bloodline. He knows that if he told her anything, she wouldn't believe him. What happens if she starts to dig into his history and bloodline and finds out his secrets for herself? ©2014 BVBArmy_Forever720. All Rights ReservedComplete
We have been taught we are the only ones that can hurt ourselves. We are the only ones that could end this Earth. We have been taught wrong. There are forces surrounding us, controlling us, watching us and making sure we fail as a race. There are also forces helping us be better, guiding us towards a more enlightened present and future and both forces have been around us forever. But what if these forces are and have been in a war for thousands and thousands of years. On one side, they want to slave us on the other they need us to be prosperous and reach happiness with ourselves and our lives. What if Angels were just like us? They have their strengths we have our own. What if they had the same issues as we do? Up there or wherever they are coming from. We have a mission in this lifetime, they have the same mission through all their existence. We change our mission with every lifetime, they don't. This would make some Angels feel anger for humankind and there are those who see it as the Father's command and wish and comply just as they were told to do. It is written they had a weakness for human females and it is also written they procreated with them. This story is about the first Angel born from a human female and an Angel who has lived among us since the beginning of time but we have come to the end of times and with it, Angels, the ones on our side, the ones against us, the ones who don't care, and us humans, are facing the end of existence right now.
More detailsContent Guidelines