Alice In Modernland

I've had the worst day; I've ran into mail boxes with a stolen car, had a giant chicken chase me up a tree that apparently is named Glenn, my boyfriend said he loved me and turned around to have a face on the back of his head saying "I'm lying. Shhh!", and last but most certainly not the least, my dog decided to leave me for the mailman who isn't too bad looking I might add.
Worst day and it isn't even a Monday.