The Silent Host (boyxboy OHSHC)
  • Reads 348,424
  • Votes 11,765
  • Parts 36
  • Time 4h 12m
  • Reads 348,424
  • Votes 11,765
  • Parts 36
  • Time 4h 12m
Complete, First published Jul 06, 2016
Cover by siimplyisaac

Words. 

Everyone takes them for granted, using them non-stop, screaming them, laughing them, blurting them. But what about when they're dying? Are they strong enough to scream out their last words? To laugh out their final sentence? To blurt out the last thing people will remember of them?

Your dying words mean everything. It's what people remember you saying last and it shouldn't be something stupid which if you get used to saying stupid things, I believe you won't have any control of what you say when you die. 

So words are valuable, and I, James Hunter, won't waste them. 

Of course I'll speak when it's important but I don't think I'll speak for anything other than that. 

But I'm dying and I don't want to be, but the choice isn't mine to make. My body- my heart has made up its mind, I'm going to die, I just have to accepting it. And if I'm going to die, I want to be remembered, I want them to visible see my face, feel my touch and hear my voice from my final hours of living. I want my family to know everything I've been holding in and I want my friends to remember me as strong. 

So what I'm going to die? Everyone does at one point. I'll just die sooner than expected and medication won't do anything to stop it, only postpone it and I don't want it postponed, when I'm ready... I'm ready and I want my heart to be on the same page as I am.
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Echo of the Past

30 parts Complete Mature

A few months ago, I bought a mug with gold gilt. On sale. Not a gift either nor because of an occasion to remember by it. Just plain, pretty mug for 15PLN. I drank my coffee from it since. I spat loose tea leaves into it. It never felt particularly significant. An ordinary object. Only when I lost it, I realised its true value. I sat comfortably at my desk one evening. Looking at my phone, I reached to take my song-text notebook. Trivial situation. My clumsy fingers were unable to avoid the mug. They allowed it to topple over, to slip from the desktop. Even though I did not see the split-second occurrence, I felt the pressure of unease. My head painted the trajectory of the fall on its own, the shattering, spillage. The loss. For a millisecond I still had hope, that I would be able to catch the mug, that I would be able to avoid what was about to happen. But I knew I was headed for failure. I don't have any superpowers. I only scalded my fingers. I looked at the mug's new shape for a long while, at the shattered pieces. At the spilling liquid. Our adventure came to an end. Irrevocably. I won't be drinking coffee from it anymore, nor spit tea leaves into it. Well. I shouldn't be sad, it was just a regular mug, just like thousands of others. I grew to like it, it kept me company throughout hundreds of warm drinks. I lost it. I hate this feeling the most. In the moment when I am losing something, I stop in my tracks, I hold my breath. It is always a very intense moment. A short one, but one that gives me the tight unpleasant feeling in my stomach. The feeling of loss is always accompanied by hope. Silly and naïve. Making me believe so strongly, that I can make it. That I will still be able to catch the mug mid-flight. When the feeling is entering the body, crawling into me I realise, how important it was to me. Whether it's Nivan or a stupid mug with gold gilt.