The Hardest Part of Living

When a person that you love dies you don't feel sad or angry, just regret. Regret that you didn't spend enough time with that person, regret that you didn't help that person in whenever they needed help, regret that you didn't make that person smile or laugh a lot, and regret that you didn't pay attention to that person during the last day of their short life. You would feel that you could've done something that night to stop that person from drinking too much and getting in the car, or you could've taken away the pills that the person had in their hand, not knowing that an overdose would end their life. Everyone tries to tell you that it wasn't your fault, that things like that happen, but you don't believe them and you find yourself sinking in a deep abyss of darkness and depression, blaming yourself for the death of your loved one. But who knew that you could find light in that darkness when you move to, in my case to England.