Don't Split Up!

Reads 118
Votes 15
Parts 3
Time 12m

Reads 118
Votes 15
Parts 3
Time 12m

death funny halloween hauntedhouse horror murder stereotypes traps

Why is the first thing everyone does in a horror movie is split up to look for clues? Does nobody understand that every time this happens someone (normally the blonde) dies? 

Well, guess what? I am the blonde, and I'm too young to die! So this time, we're playing by my rule book. If you want to go off and die from your own stupidity, go ahead, but procrastinate just long enough for me to get the hell out of there first. 

Yes, it's Halloween night. Yes, we're stuck in a creepy old house. Yes, I'm surrounded by stereotypes and cliches, but this time, the ending will be different. This time, the blonde is not going to die.

***

Damn, I wanted to spend Halloween at home, binge eating candy and playing video games. But then, my idiot neighbor claimed he knew the hottest party in town, filled with chicks and booze. 

A haunted house. There are a few chicks but absolutely no booze. The fucking idiot. Now I'm stuck in here with a bunch of stereotypes, wondering who's going to die first. Because it's usually between the black guy and the blonde with big boobs. I'm the black guy. I hope blondie snuffs it first.

WARNING! This book is filled with offensive stereotypes, sarcasm and crude language. Proceed at your own risk.All Rights Reserved

death funny halloween hauntedhouse horror murder stereotypes traps

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3 parts

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