Brutally Honest Reviews™

DISCLAIMER: These review/critique things are based on first impressions. I will NOT be reading the entirety of your book. My purpose is to urge my clients to learn something new about their story. (Though opinions may vary across participants.) Maybe your review from me will be the catalyst that makes you quit writing for a period of time. Maybe my review is the confidence boost you need in order to take that next step. Maybe my review will help you see your errors and better yourself. Maybe it will do nothing to help you at all and you'll just think of me as a turd after. My goal is not to tell you how to think; I am just a milk dud trying to do something semi-productive as I procrastinate away. Also, in no way am I implying that I am a superior writer to any of my clients, I'm just bored & have attained a decent critical eye on picking out "the bad", I think. We all have written garbage before (you might be writing one right now and have yet to realize it! Who knows-- let me help you find out!), this is just a process that has been done a googolplex amount of times throughout the centuries and the multiverse. This is not unique to only you. It is just a cycle, and you are part of it, which is why I am here to shove you along in one tiny portion of it. If you think that I'm a "rude bitch", all of this seems too intimidating, or maybe even melodramatic--I get it. To a certain extent, I even agree with you! You know yourself better than I do. Remember: no one is forcing you to request and I'll have less reviews to get to. 🤷🏾♂️

{P.S. Super depressed and poor so I'm prone to take breaks. Oops. Edit: On an indefinite hiatus if that isn't obvious. All posted reviews have pretty helpful info in them I like to think tho!}

Okay, I'll quit the foreplay and get on with it. I hope you enjoy my services whether you request or not!

(Cover done by yours truly)