My life

My name is Nicole and ever since I was 12 I started going through being self- conscious , being shy , having depression and social anxiety.

I can't be myself around new people , my best friends know about my problems and they are always there for me but my family on the other hand doesn't understand and I feel neglected by them , like a stranger in my own home - well my brother Glenn he at least cares for me and is the protective big bro I never had compared to my other brothers.

I used to be close to my brother but now that he's got a girlfriend he never has time for me anymore and we've been distant for a long time and it really hurts but he doesn't even know. He tries to find as much time possible to spend with me but I feel like my whole family hates me and wants nothing to do with me.

Relationships please don't get me started , I'm a natural prone disaster when it comes to this. So I just act like a bitch to everyone, I make people stay away from me because I know what would happen - I'd get cheated on, end up broken, never want to fall in love again, trust too much and get used - thrown out like I'm a piece of shit, like I mean absolutely nothing.

but somewhere deep inside I wish someone apart from my best friends would understand how I feel just by looking into my eyes or seeing how fake my smile is. It would change everything.

........

Will she find someone who can see right through her , that will love her unconditionally , that will stay forever? And change the way she views herself as a person and not just a thing.

This is my life....