When Ryan left the band, everything started changing for Brendon in a bad way. His days got worse and worse. First, Ryan and Jon left, then his brother died in a car accident, then his mom was diagnosed with stage four cancer, and the band started going down. Eventually, Brendon lost everything, his best friend, most of the rest of his friends, some of his family, his money, his home, and his reputation. Brendon couldn't take it anymore. He posted a video online saying his goodbyes and final wishes, then, he pulled the trigger. Ryan watched the video over and over again. "It can't be real." He told himself. "It was just yesterday we were just kids messing around with instruments in Spencer's garage, now it's came to Brendon killing himself? No. It can't be real..... Could it?" It's been four months. Ryan blames himself for everything. His therapist told him to write letters to Brendon. Of course he'd never see them, but it'd help Ryan. So, that's what he did.