Five

It wasn't something I had planned on, wasn't even something I wanted.

I looked out at them, each one of them filling my head with memories of days gone by, and my heart pounding with each happy picture that they could all paint for me, if I would only give them that chance.

I thought that in life, once a door was closed, that it would be closed forever. In that way, it would make it much easier to move on from such highs and lows. But my ghosts of lovers past have come to haunt me and beg for my very heart and soul. How could I choose? Who do I choose?

Will it be the boy who threw his arm around me and held me close as rain poured down on us as I cried into his dirt stained t-shirt?

Will it be the one who loved me enough to not shred my heart by being with anyone else until I found someone else? The one who lay with me on a sandy beach and watched the stars and satellites dance in front of our eyes, while my heart danced away in his voice?

Can I go back to the hardest love I've ever had? I can't deny that there will always be a part of me that longs for Cole. I've spent nearly a decade of my life with him, we have a family. But we are so opposite, like fire and ice, he melts every part of me, and I never can seem to be enough to darken his flames. He will always take every part of me.

What about my second chance, with my unicorn? Do I pass up this gift that God, the universe....fate....whatever you'd like to say has given me? Someone who is kind, and gentle and mysterious. Can I even stop myself from falling for him all over again?

I think about each one of them, my heart is so conflicted and my mind can't even begin to make sense of this path I'm on. Maybe I'm doomed to forever love them...All of them.