Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Fri, Dec 6, 20134h 59m
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Non-Fiction
Tucker Max’s books—I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First, and Hilarity Ensues—are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories. They’ve sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Their success has meant his success. As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the “best of the rest,” and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like a book version of Deleted Scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don’t suck. So enjoy.
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Greetings Your Majesty. Have I a story for you? This is the heart-warming tale of the world-renowned Muhammad Hussein. Yes. We all cherish his story of immigrating to the United States in 2028 as a refugee and going on to become the greatest mixed-martial artist ever born. But did you know there's much more to this young man than his charity donations, vast wealth, pure talent, and deep faith in God? It's true. Muhammad actually has an untold story that'll make you and everyone you know feel special, which is important. The whole incident kicks off when God says humans worship him, whether they're blessed or unblessed. A super-sweet angel hears this claim and reasons no, man worships God only when the conditions are right. So, the Creator of the Universe agrees to enter into a bet with this innocent and highly-sensitive angel. Muhammad, being a perfect candidate for the experiment, will have his life ruined at the hands of our misunderstood angel, only because he has to prove his point with a peanut-butter and jelly Supreme Being. But, the question remains human. What is the heavyweight champion going to do when happiness is replaced with profound misery? Narrated by... oh it doesn't matter, it's in the details. This is the greatest self-published novel you will find ever written. Or it is the worst. You choose.

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