Apocalypse Journal #1

Apocalypse Journal #1

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Thu, Jul 28, 2016<5 mins
In the unlikely apocalypse use this to keep self esteem. Please don't die :) Today I have not done much other than sleep in a cardboard box, ALONE. The lack of a partner scares me, I'm so alone I'm starting too think I should kill myself I know it's drastic but my hormones control my body. Sadly.......I guess I should look for food in the abandoned mall near my box but first I will sleep. Day 2 In the mall I actually found some crisps, a portable DVD player and the first season of BLEACH, while walking back I find a porno magazine on the ground, it was nothing special just naked women, there were 3 pages missing and it was covered in dirt but it was more interesting than BLEACH so I read it and thought BLEACH could wait. Day 3 I woke up to discover me hugging my own pillow and sadly it had turned wet I think I know what I did and I'm not proud of it....that's it..... I just cry for the rest of the day <EOF>
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Alex.. That's all I remembered that summer night 3 years ago.. It was my 19th birthday and I was celebrating at the beach house, like we always did. Together. This summer was different. This summer was magical.. However, All I could remember was the tanned skin, in my bed, the morning after, cursing under his breath, searching for his clothes. All I remembered was his first name, after I peeked at a message that lit up on his phone, asking "Where are you, Alex? It starts in an hour." I remember the day before, but due to the alcohol in my system, it still was a blur. All i remember was the steamyness we shared and that he was in a rush, saying absoluetly nothing. Until he was gone.. I have been to that beach house every birthday since.. It's like he vanished and was only a memory. He only existed that one day on my 19th birthday. The laughs, the sun, the warm fuzzy feeling. It was perfect. Until it was gone. Vanished. It was the only time I felt like me, warm fuzzy, in the beach I loved, the mysterious man I met just that morning at breakfast who I spent the entire day with, it was the first summer I felt like myself ironic enough, falling for a man who i just met, He made me feel alive more than ever. He sent a spark in me. It was the first and only summer, I felt pretty inside AND out. Until I saw him.. 10 feet away from me. A beautiful woman attached to his hip, arm around her and PREGNANT. My world crashes around me and I can't breathe.

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