TW
September third.
Its full of rich boys rotten to the core, stone cold and forced into my inevitable death. You hate me and I love that, I crave the warmth of you're hate. The warmth of ten people in our dorm, but they stare. They are all looking at me, judging,yelling,drinking drunk. They will see me tomorrow and the next day, but i plan to be dead by three. I have bags under my eyes, I havn't slept in four. I'm going crazy. Eyes as clear as water, skin as red as blood, blood as black as ink. I'm an addict, addicted to my head, to these words, to you're skin. I love you, can't you see? I miss you, look at me! I want you, please me.
I need you, even when you call me fag, I love you. It's unhealthy I know, but iv never been healthy, i'm a headcase loosing all the grip of my reality. I love you. I love you. I love you. But this isn't a love story. It doesn't have a happy ending. It doesn't end in you saying you love me back. It ends in death.
Elliot's partner was his whole world, but after Allan's death, his ghost haunts Elliot's dreams. Everyone tells Elliot to move on, but he isn't sure he can.
*****
It's been a year since the love of Elliot's life, Allan, passed away. Everyone thinks he should have recovered after that much time, but Allan still haunts Elliot every night. He struggles to maintain relationships with his family, and despite a coworkers interest he can't summon up the courage to date. Elliot is living for the past, because to live for the present means he'll have to live with a hole in his heart. But the question Elliot has to face chases him through his monotonous days: is mourning Allan with everything he has truly living?
[[word count: 40,000-50,000 words]]