funny text messages - crazy cat lady - Wattpad

Story cover for funny text messages by cat-tastic

funny text messages

Reads 9,609
Votes 1,033
Parts 73
Time 14m

Reads 9,609
Votes 1,033
Parts 73
Time 14m

fails funny hilarious humor humour lol messages text

girl: hey, it's over
boy: wtf?! why?? after all i did for u, this is what u do for me!? u asshole!!
boy: it's ok, that's why i slept with three of ur best friends, u prick ass!
girl: ...i was talking about the movie
boy: ooohhh... how was it?
girl: fuck u bitchAll Rights Reserved

fails funny hilarious humor humour lol messages text

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73 parts

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The Number On The Napkin by LunaFlore

"Is your refrigerator running?" "No, my refrigerator is not running." "Well you better...wait, what?" "Actually, it broke down a week ago because it knew that you were going to call with that stupid line and it decided it would rather die than listen to you say it. So now, thanks to you, I don't have a fridge and all of my food has gone bad." • • • Sometimes you find the crucial answers in the weirdest of places...and people.

Talk Juicy To Me by hothatsweethis

When Oliver Thomas calls his best friend to tell him about the best lay of his life, he doesn't expect a girl to answer it. Much less the girl who was the best lay of his life. "Hel-" "Holy shit. Where the hell were you dude? I've been trying to call you since morning." "I-" "It doesn't bloody matter. Caleb, I, Oliver Thomas had the best fucking lay of my life last night." "Oliver?" "Uhh-" "I'm glad you think I was good." "Shit." _____________________________________________ HIGHEST RANKING #2 in Short Story #1 in Call #2 in the Dialogue Series • This story comes packed with a lot of innuendos, sarcastic girl remarks and a protagonists who seems absolutely delectable and probably tops the chart alongside Channing Tatum *you have been warned

The Body Swap by storylover5555

Ever wondered what it's like to be a boy? You're about to find out. Love isn't meant to be easy, everybody knows that, but is it meant to be this hard? After a mistake at a party, two highschool students end up in each other's bodies. The problem? It's hard to fall in love, when the person you love is in your own body. Read on to see how the two unfortunate students learn to adapt to each other's lives, including periods, peeing and a whole lot of awkward genital issues. WARNING. STRONG LANGUAGE IN FIRST CHAPTER. Rated R for strong language, not sexual stuff. I mean there's a part about her poking a penis but that's only because she doesn't understand why she has one. Wouldn't you poke your own penis if you woke up as a boy one day? Copyright 2013 All rights reserved.

Aw Hell Nah! by Sunglyn_428

" AURA, I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR THE POOR WINDOW. I DID NOT WANT TO BREAK IT BUT I JUST WANTED YOUR ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO ANNOYING!!" Suddenly I heard my neighbors shouting like angry mobs. " WE ARE SLEEPING YOU CRAZY YOUNG TEENAGE BOY WHO IS TRYING TO GET A GIRL! GO AWAY FROM THIS NEIGHBORHOOD!" " I DID NOT MEAN TO WAKE YOU ALL UP. I AM DEEPLY SORRY!" I can't stand the shouting no more. So I went down, opened the door and said, " Get it Van.." " OK AURA!"

FEISTY BeasT by user316714523267

I aburtly stand from my bed when I heard my apartment door opening with a 'THUD' sound.I quickly run to the front room only to see a guy sucking a blonde gals face, so because I'm such a jerk I cross my arms on my chest leaning on the doorframe of my room while the mystery guy take the girl to the sofa reaching her dress zip at the back. Now my beautiful night eyes won't like to see naked body of my own sex but I wouldn't mind seeing naked...ugh get a grip jer "sorry to interrupt your beautiful lusting moment but WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY F.U.C.K.I.N.G APARTMENT?!?!" They both jumped from their seat and I get to see their faces the girl is familiar and the bo__what the hell??? And the mystery guy just smirk at me.. WHEN YOU SUDDENLY happen to see your father made suicide, your world will completely shatter, he was your only family. But then you have incredible friends as family to let you go through it, and much more, life has different twist for u. Get to see what your fate wrote... *********##########********* Guyz bitch is back enjoy my book and do give it a try please...and I'm sure u will like it!! Update every SSunday WARNING- I suck at description

Nudes? || septiplier || -DISCONTINUED- by VinxBeingWeIrD

Jack gets a message from someone who wants some nudes. May in include nudes if I find some on the internet.(not guaranteed) Mature just in case my brain wants to bring my dirty mind to the story cover by me (that's why its shitty) ---------------------------------- "Who knew we will go so far just because of those 5 little words."

Oops, Wrong Number | ✓ by stillclo

When a girl got stood up by her supposed date and decided to give him a piece of her mind through a text message, but when she pressed send, it was sent to a wrong number. And what if the person she accidentally sent the message responded to her text?

To The Boy/✔ by grayelizza

To the boy they said he wanted everything to do with me, I hate you for making me believe you did To the boy that said be wanted nothing to do with me, Thank you for making me realize I wasn't what everybody wanted And to the boy that helped me through it all, I'm sorry I didn't realize it was you sooner *mature only because there's a lot of swearing

Fake Number by GraceingYourPresence

"Hey cute guy I met in Starbucks!" "Um.. hello? I'm sorry but I don't work in Starbucks" "Oh shit, did I type the number in wrong?" ...

Earnestly (#3) by itsmyjam

IN WHICH a girl's heart yearns earnestly for a boy who doesn't deserve her. *extended summary inside* [a series of text messages] (third story in my text series. only a small connection to Enunciate in this. you may read this as a stand alone.) #14 in #textstory #3 in #unrequitedlove #183 in #badboyneighbor "Awe this is kind of sweet and different from your other stories." - @witchadry "I love ur stories so much like how the heck do you come up with this??" - @AashikaG "Arghhh I love dis story sooo much. It's just so addicting hahah." - @hiyaitschristine "This is so good can't wait for the next chapters!" - @Underscore_girl37

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Slide 1 of 10

The Number On The Napkin cover

Talk Juicy To Me cover

The Body Swap cover

Aw Hell Nah! cover

FEISTY BeasT cover

Nudes? || septiplier || -DISCONTINUED- cover

Oops, Wrong Number | ✓ cover

To The Boy/✔ cover

Fake Number cover

Earnestly (#3) cover

The Number On The Napkin

"Is your refrigerator running?" "No, my refrigerator is not running." "Well you better...wait, what?" "Actually, it broke down a week ago because it knew that you were going to call with that stupid line and it decided it would rather die than listen to you say it. So now, thanks to you, I don't have a fridge and all of my food has gone bad." • • • Sometimes you find the crucial answers in the weirdest of places...and people.