funny text messages - crazy cat lady - Wattpad

Story cover for funny text messages by cat-tastic

funny text messages

Reads 9,596
Votes 1,033
Parts 73
Time 14m

Reads 9,596
Votes 1,033
Parts 73
Time 14m

fails funny hilarious humor humour lol messages text

girl: hey, it's over
boy: wtf?! why?? after all i did for u, this is what u do for me!? u asshole!!
boy: it's ok, that's why i slept with three of ur best friends, u prick ass!
girl: ...i was talking about the movie
boy: ooohhh... how was it?
girl: fuck u bitchAll Rights Reserved

fails funny hilarious humor humour lol messages text

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73 parts

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Aw Hell Nah! by Sunglyn_428

" AURA, I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR THE POOR WINDOW. I DID NOT WANT TO BREAK IT BUT I JUST WANTED YOUR ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO ANNOYING!!" Suddenly I heard my neighbors shouting like angry mobs. " WE ARE SLEEPING YOU CRAZY YOUNG TEENAGE BOY WHO IS TRYING TO GET A GIRL! GO AWAY FROM THIS NEIGHBORHOOD!" " I DID NOT MEAN TO WAKE YOU ALL UP. I AM DEEPLY SORRY!" I can't stand the shouting no more. So I went down, opened the door and said, " Get it Van.." " OK AURA!"

Your-Man : Book 1 (The Superhero Series) by trishita_b

"I'm a messed up girl." Sigh, peek through lashes, then "Most of the time I either overreact, or I don't react at all. There's a numb spot where my heart should've been and mouth knows nothing but sarcasm." Lip bite, looking away "I've seen too much to make me this. " Eyebrow raised, then "You're a messed up girl." A light nod making the dark tousled hair bounce. "You don't know how to react or how to listen to your heart." Fidgeting with fingers, Is he nervous? "You're not sarcastic you're defensive." Smirk. Damn right he can't be nervous. "You haven't seen too much, you've seen one side of life for too long." Another smirk. Alright, where's the police? Trouble is on its way. "It's about time you see the better side". "I don't want you to be my superman, or batman or ironman or-." Another sigh, then "I'm not a mission! I can't be saved" Smirk, then. "I'm not saving you, you don't need to be saved." Smile, wait what? "Babe I'm Your-Man, and I'm here to give you a good time" Book 1 of 'SuperHero' Series.

Just the three of us... by GothGrrrl

*18+ Mature themes and language* Little did Alice know when she started a part time job in a hotel that it would end up changing her life. The tattooed boy and blue haired girl rescued her from a life her father had forced upon her, and together they could take on the world. * * * * * * "Tag! You're such a dick!" Two guys are stood in the doorway, one with a red stain on the front of his chef whites and a bowl on the floor in between his feet, shaking his head. He looks about thirty, with dark stubble covering his lower face, dark short hair peppered with white hair. The other guy catches my attention more. He is almost doubled over laughing at his friend, and has the cutest dimples. His hair is dark blonde, shaved up the sides but long in a strip down the center of his head. His ears have several piercings, with a large patterned gauge at the bottom lobe of each ear. There are tattoos just showing on his neck and arms from underneath his top. And in his arms is a platter with a huge carrot cake on top. "My bad Sammy" the blonde manages to get out between chuckles. "I'll clean it up in a second." He saunters over to me and leans past to put down the cake, winking up at me. "Gotta love a man who can bake, huh?" I feel my cheeks burn as I look into his blue eyes. "Um.....I guess...." I squeak.

Oops, Wrong Number | ✓ by stillclo

When a girl got stood up by her supposed date and decided to give him a piece of her mind through a text message, but when she pressed send, it was sent to a wrong number. And what if the person she accidentally sent the message responded to her text?

Wrong Number lol by Mystiq_Mystery

who is this? "It's me" "ur best friend?" "u know" "besties for resties" "till deathties?" "friend till the end" "lets play pretend :D" "no?" doesn't ring a bell

The Blue Jay by burnings_

"Mia reply to my texts, I'm boreddd." "Ugh what, you annoying child?" "Hey, I'm literally older than you." "Certainly don't act like it." "Shut up." "Not like I wanted to talk to you anyways :)" --------- In which a once close friend who now remains a stranger with a weird pancake addiction texts the girl with a fierce personality.

Instagram Dms by peoplegenuinelythink

(Finished) _hazzaestyles_ : Dude he's so hot!😍 tmlnsn.1991 : oh... I mean thanks? _hazzaestyles_ : Shit! Wrong... chat? _hazzaestyles_ : Oops... tmlnsn.1991 : Hahah Hi In which a curly haired boy sends a dm to the wrong person and it results in a wonderful friendship. ... Or maybe more?

Texting plier - Septiplier by saro510

JackSepticEye: hello babe ;3 miss ya plier: uh... who r u? (This book is just texting until the end, so if your not into that then don't read pls :)) Mature because of the language and violence (btw check out @PinheadUnicornLarry 's "You Left Me" bc she cool)

FEISTY BeasT by user316714523267

I aburtly stand from my bed when I heard my apartment door opening with a 'THUD' sound.I quickly run to the front room only to see a guy sucking a blonde gals face, so because I'm such a jerk I cross my arms on my chest leaning on the doorframe of my room while the mystery guy take the girl to the sofa reaching her dress zip at the back. Now my beautiful night eyes won't like to see naked body of my own sex but I wouldn't mind seeing naked...ugh get a grip jer "sorry to interrupt your beautiful lusting moment but WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY F.U.C.K.I.N.G APARTMENT?!?!" They both jumped from their seat and I get to see their faces the girl is familiar and the bo__what the hell??? And the mystery guy just smirk at me.. WHEN YOU SUDDENLY happen to see your father made suicide, your world will completely shatter, he was your only family. But then you have incredible friends as family to let you go through it, and much more, life has different twist for u. Get to see what your fate wrote... *********##########********* Guyz bitch is back enjoy my book and do give it a try please...and I'm sure u will like it!! Update every SSunday WARNING- I suck at description

Talk Juicy To Me by hothatsweethis

When Oliver Thomas calls his best friend to tell him about the best lay of his life, he doesn't expect a girl to answer it. Much less the girl who was the best lay of his life. "Hel-" "Holy shit. Where the hell were you dude? I've been trying to call you since morning." "I-" "It doesn't bloody matter. Caleb, I, Oliver Thomas had the best fucking lay of my life last night." "Oliver?" "Uhh-" "I'm glad you think I was good." "Shit." _____________________________________________ HIGHEST RANKING #2 in Short Story #1 in Call #2 in the Dialogue Series • This story comes packed with a lot of innuendos, sarcastic girl remarks and a protagonists who seems absolutely delectable and probably tops the chart alongside Channing Tatum *you have been warned

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Slide 1 of 10

Aw Hell Nah! cover

Your-Man : Book 1 (The Superhero Series) cover

Just the three of us... cover

Oops, Wrong Number | ✓ cover

Wrong Number lol cover

The Blue Jay cover

Instagram Dms cover

Texting plier - Septiplier cover

FEISTY BeasT cover

Talk Juicy To Me cover

Aw Hell Nah!

" AURA, I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR THE POOR WINDOW. I DID NOT WANT TO BREAK IT BUT I JUST WANTED YOUR ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO ANNOYING!!" Suddenly I heard my neighbors shouting like angry mobs. " WE ARE SLEEPING YOU CRAZY YOUNG TEENAGE BOY WHO IS TRYING TO GET A GIRL! GO AWAY FROM THIS NEIGHBORHOOD!" " I DID NOT MEAN TO WAKE YOU ALL UP. I AM DEEPLY SORRY!" I can't stand the shouting no more. So I went down, opened the door and said, " Get it Van.." " OK AURA!"