Exploding
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sometimes you have so many thoughts in your head that it's all you can do to not explode.
that happens to me a lot...more than i wish to say.
but now, it's too hard from keeping those words from being written down or spoken.
hope you enjoy a little piece of my messed up mind.
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So Gone (Ed Sheeran)
There are times when you don't know what to think or what to do. I guess after being so disappointed and left by the one person you thought could never leave you, you tend to lose the ability to react logically. I know for a fact that I don't act like myself anymore, but I didn't seem to be able to change that. We often get told not to drink too much, but when everything you think about when sober is how pointless everything is, you can be considered as an exception. At least, I think it's better if I can't constantly think about her and how I missed her touch, her words, everything when really, she also ruined me. We're all broken. Sometimes, it's just the reality of life hitting you too hard, sometimes it's someone breaking you. Whatever the cause, we all struggle to live and move on. I just wish I wasn't so alone through this and that someone could help me live with myself.Завершенная история
My friend, Demise
Every sound in my world is amplified due to the silence. Every footstep, every ticking clock in every classroom, every pen that clicks or drops to the floor, every little sharp sound is so loud in my head that it pisses me off. I also don't do well under pressure, but I'm always trying so hard to calm down that it puts me under even more pressure. I only know two emotions and have my whole life. I've only ever been those two. I don't get sad, I don't feel happy or exited. I'm either angry or unbearably lonely. I'm grade school, some kids thought I was the devil. I'm not. I'm just....I'm just different. So don't go around thinking I'm some kind of demon, okay?!Завершенная история
From The Heart
Do you know the times when you want to say something, but can't? Or the times when you are sad and need someone to give you a hug? The times your worst enemy hugs your boyfriend? Or the times you are so angry you punch a locker and have to pay to get it repaired? Well with writing my thoughts, passions, anger triggers, enemies, love, hatred, even happiness out for people. Makes me feel like someone can relate to me and I can impact them in any simple or complex way they deem fit. I write because I can and I become free with every word written from my mind, every letter and messed up grammar I have accidentally committed to butchering every time I write. I may not make a difference, heck, I may not even have a lot of people who read but those who do read when I write about how I thought up a story plot or something for my best friend, they will always make me feel like I'm making the difference because someone actually read what I thought at a certain time and day and maybe even listened. That's what makes me feel wanted and happy like I can do something other than run my stubborn mouth and have a mother hen personality. That is what will continue as I write. fortunately, the thing is no one can take it away either, and that my readers are what makes the mind a great thing.Завершенная история
The unreachable mountain
"You're unbearable!" He kicks her with utter contempt. "Please tell me where I'm wrong, causing you discomfort was not my intention," she said crying, causing him to hit her against the ground again. "Do you think you can live with good intentions? Didn't you have all the time you wanted to change and learn? You still dare to ask for more!" He yells at her with hatred, he blamed her for being the one will cause a woman to be beaten; He didn't want to be that kind of man. However, what he lived with her caused him to bring out what he hated the most about himself from within. -Forget it love- said a woman who was next to her- it's not worth it- this dog was supposed to be her friend, she was supposed to support her just like she did; however he managed so that he and she hated each other and thus be able to steal it. The woman on the floor does not know how much she was framed and harmed by her naivety, nor did she know that this was the beginning of her misfortunes. Because of that woman she did not stop suffering, wherever she went she suffered verbal or physical abuse and everything was orchestrated by this woman; she didn't know until she was about to faint. "Why?" She asked this unarmed woman without knowing why she hated him so much. She never did anything to hurt him. She just laughed viciously without answering him, she didn't have to waste her time with an insect; leaving La to die imprisoned in the house where she was kidnapped. "Answer me!" She got up from her bed screaming "Eh? This looks like my room; Did I reincarnate myself in the past?" She ran to the bathroom just to see that her assumption was correct. She thanked the heavens for this second chance by promising that she wouldn't be fooled a second time.Завершенная история
Pain is Forgiveness
'....He isn't home again...why...? Doesn't he know I need him...? I mean...yeah I...did all those things...b-but that was during the moment...I-I thought they were...but they're not...they just wanted to Fuck...not...keep me warm...not help me at my lowest...but...he did...and...I need it...I need him...why isn't he here with me...? why did I waste my time with those useless fuckers than my Darling...? why did I...maybe he got lost...I'll look for him...then we can talk...and I'll fix what I broke...huh...? His door's open...wait... A girl, who swings both sides and ignores her heart A boy, Loyal and caring, love strong for his other...until she crossed the line... one saved by the other...racked with guilt and desperation, wants her 'Darling'...but... she chose to do this... (I got the Idea from someone who recommended me this, You know who you are so make yourself known, Credit to that individual for helping my stuck brain, but I'll add my own twist)
Fate | Lisrene |
"You forgot? Right?" I asked, more like whispery. I am really trying my best not to ask, but it suddenly came out without me realizing it. "It's our 100th day today, Bae." I don't intend on looking back up where she is, since I don't want to expect more, to see the reaction and was really trying my best to avoid her gaze. She didn't respond, She must've been so surprise. So, from that, I straightly and directly looked up and see what she's up to. Unfortunately, it was a wrong move. I saw it. I saw how her reaction change. From a relax one to a surprise one. You see, eyes can't lie. "N- No. No. It's just that- - - - " "It's okay." I tried to sound okay. I even smiled to assure her. But, you can't just feel okay, when you know, at any minute my tears might fall. When she did not respond, I kept quiet and continued eating. It's tiring when you know, you put effort to all this and yet you can feel from that person was the opposite expressions of what you expected. Expectations really isn't good at all. "Are you okay?" She was about to touch me but my body acted on its own, I move backward. Seeing her this close and that pity look in her eyes makes my heart breaks and offended even more. "We don't really talk now, why are you curious now?" I can't help myself but answer in sarcasm. This setting is really tiring and obviously new to me. I can't recognize and get a hold of myself, and any moment now I might burst out, right now, right here. I don't even really care now if the camera is actually recording us. I felt the need to go somewhere. I need space to breathe. I need to walk away from her now because I know when it hurts , I can't control my feelings let alone my stupid self. "Excuse me! I need to use the restroom." She nodded without tearing her eyes off me. And, that's my que to walk away. No turning back this time. It may look disrespectful but I can't pretend that everything is okay and it doesn't hurts me at all.Завершенная история
Dear Destiney,
Sometimes, when you are most unexpecting it, life gives you a fairytale to cherish, gives you memories that you want to keep locked up in your mind.Завершенная история
when Em came to me
this is some stuff I write because I can't say it out loud and/or because I shouldn't be thinking about it. this is truly how I feel and what I think.Завершенная история
Diary of an anorexic
I use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.Завершенная история
DESTINY IS ON IT'S WAY (LISKOOK)
Shattered, I was shattered into pieces. Being broken by the scene I saw. Crying my way home while you trying to get my attention. Why?! Is she better than me? Am I not enough for you? Am I a carpet, that you think you can just walk on? After everything I did for you, this? This is what I get?! Why?! Forget about every single thing we did together......... Because now, you can go have fun with her, go ahead I don't mind. Besides I have better things to do anyways, much better things than worrying about someone who broke my heart, much better things than worrying about something I don't really need. I can do almost everything alone, I don't need anyone who will refer me as their first love but then just breaks my heart Crying, I was crying I never cried this hard. I never want to see you again. Maybe you just don't see me as an important person in your life so you decided to break me. "Now I'm going 'solo'" -------------- ENJOY!!!Завершенная история
There are times when you don't know what to think or what to do. I guess after being so disappointed and left by the one person you thought could never leave you, you tend to lose the ability to react logically. I know for a fact that I don't act like myself anymore, but I didn't seem to be able to change that. We often get told not to drink too much, but when everything you think about when sober is how pointless everything is, you can be considered as an exception. At least, I think it's better if I can't constantly think about her and how I missed her touch, her words, everything when really, she also ruined me. We're all broken. Sometimes, it's just the reality of life hitting you too hard, sometimes it's someone breaking you. Whatever the cause, we all struggle to live and move on. I just wish I wasn't so alone through this and that someone could help me live with myself.
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