Dead Excited
  • Reads 202
  • Votes 99
  • Parts 55
  • Time 8h 29m
  • Reads 202
  • Votes 99
  • Parts 55
  • Time 8h 29m
Ongoing, First published Jul 31, 2016
Mature
Tag line: "There are many obstacles to becoming a porn star. Being dead isn't one of them!"

Ever since his youth in the early seventies, Casey Nash has harboured the secret, burning ambition to be a porn star. After a very humiliating "interview" with one of the leading producers of "adult entertainment", his ambition lay in tatters and he was forced to adopt his back-up plan, namely business school. Fast forward to the present and Casey Nash is part way through his third term as Mayor of Lorelei, Michigan's fourth largest city, a multi-millionaire and probably the most famous figure throughout the state. He's also dying from rampant testicular cancer. Only one item remains on his bucket list, and you've already guessed what that is! Fortunately film technology has reached the level where one person's face can be superimposed on someone else's body, and this is what offers him the hope of fulfilling his dream, albeit posthumously.

So, Casey formulates a plan involving the computer special effects company CGI-SFX, who stand to inherit $100 million in his will providing they film an entirely new pornographic film, superimpose his face on that of the leading actor and offer it for sale to the general public, all the while keeping the project secret from everyone, especially Casey's grasping relatives who had their eyes on that fortune for themselves. What ensues is a mixture of misunderstanding, skulduggery and general mayhem as the company's employees desperately try to complete their mission and claim their inheritance.
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Slide 1 of 10
The Gory Details (Gross) cover
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After Hours cover
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The Mean Duo ✔ cover
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The Gory Details (Gross)

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Between 2004 and 2008 I wrote a series of "Tips for Writers" for Nocturnal Ooze magazine vaguely about what would happen in real life if you did the things they do in movies but mostly about the gross out. I've always loved them and so have taken them out of mothballs for a new audience here on wattpad. They're all here except for #13 which seems to have vanished. I've also left them mostly intact except for a few very dated references that have been updated. I own the rights to the articles and Queen Mum of the Ooze, Kay Patterson has allowed me to keep the name "Gore Monger" (which she owns) provided I write: The Gore Monger appears courtesy of Nocturnal Ooze. If you enjoy these articles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/NogginBrain?fan_landing=true