hold, release
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- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Mon, Aug 1, 2016
"This sea is too deep
Still, I'm lucky
Because even if I cry, no one would know."
-as suggested by a special friend, some introspective pieces on loneliness and solitude written for myself and anyone who might be experiencing the same thing.
warning: might be a bit sad
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My friend, Demise
Every sound in my world is amplified due to the silence. Every footstep, every ticking clock in every classroom, every pen that clicks or drops to the floor, every little sharp sound is so loud in my head that it pisses me off. I also don't do well under pressure, but I'm always trying so hard to calm down that it puts me under even more pressure. I only know two emotions and have my whole life. I've only ever been those two. I don't get sad, I don't feel happy or exited. I'm either angry or unbearably lonely. I'm grade school, some kids thought I was the devil. I'm not. I'm just....I'm just different. So don't go around thinking I'm some kind of demon, okay?!Complete
Don't Forget Me In The Morning
When I was little, I was never healthy for a full day. When I would go to school, I would carry around an oxygen tank so that I could breathe properly. There was once where I had come close to death. At that time, my mother and father promised me that they wouldn't ever leave me. That is, until someone came in an murdered them while I was at school. When I was dropped off from the bus stop, I automatically knew something was wrong because my mother would always wait for me. When she wasn't there, I began to get worried. 'Had she forgotten?' Was the first thing I thought as I walked up the stairs and into my house. 'Mama? Papa?' I questioned walking into their room. As I made the first step in, I heard squishing under my feet as if the carpet was wet.Complete
Give me shelter
Have you ever felt so lonely you believed there was nothing left for you? Stashed away, merely forgotten. I mean you could cry and cry, yet no one would hear you. At least no one you truly once loved. Being yourself can be detrimental to others happiness, and so you down play who you are. You devalue your beliefs, your morals fall short and that hollow rock turns into your Mirror. Do you matter anymore? Would anyone care if you simply disappeared? Could you find your way out of the darkness? Look Closer is one of my favourite quotes and so I'll use it as a guide to understanding the complex characters you're about to meet.Complete
From Thoughts to Paper
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Sleepless Nights
These are just some things I write when it's late at night and I can't sleep... -first thing i've published, i'm well aware how amateur it is... if you're willing to endure it then i love you. I'll probably love you anyways though oops :*Complete
My Demon Mate (BoyxBoy)
I knew I was a freak, I'm weird not stupid - even if I did act like it half the time. It wasn’t normal to be like me, to be afraid of things everyone loves, needs to survive even. I had always been afraid of it for some reason, among other things of course; I would rather die than have to face my fear. Everyone knew it but no one cared though did they? I was just another stupid kid in this stupid foster home. Another stupid kid that had been ‘dumped’ and no one wanted. At least, that's what I thought.Complete
Save Me
I was drowning. I knew that. I also knew that the hands around my throat, pushing me deeper into the river water was the cause. What I didn't know was who was drowning me and why. It hurt thinking. It hurt to do anything right now. But I still screamed under the cold water and pushed the hands away as hard as I could. It didn't have much effect. I fought and fought, but I was getting weaker, and colder. The pain was overbearing. I couldn't breathe. It was the worst pain imaginable; and as the hands that were around my neck were forcibly ripped off by some unknown force, I slipped deeper into the depths of the river. My hair was straight above me along with my arms. My eyes were open and the water burned. A darkness started to pull me under, taking the pain away. I felt a small pressure around my waist, before the darkness completely consumed me. The last thing I remember is thinking, save me.Complete
Dear Journal...
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Every sound in my world is amplified due to the silence. Every footstep, every ticking clock in every classroom, every pen that clicks or drops to the floor, every little sharp sound is so loud in my head that it pisses me off. I also don't do well under pressure, but I'm always trying so hard to calm down that it puts me under even more pressure. I only know two emotions and have my whole life. I've only ever been those two. I don't get sad, I don't feel happy or exited. I'm either angry or unbearably lonely. I'm grade school, some kids thought I was the devil. I'm not. I'm just....I'm just different. So don't go around thinking I'm some kind of demon, okay?!
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