666 Feet Under

You know, I don't think a lot of people have a very clear concept of the afterlife. And that's a damn shame, to be honest. You'll see all these Christian and Mormon and Jehovah's Witness billboards on the side of the freeway telling you that your ass is going straight to Hell unless you repent and find Jesus. And that's perfectly fine. Know why? Because it keeps those lame-ass fuckers out of our netherworldly party. And yes, I did just make that word up. But it's true! I haven't seen a single bible-thumping crotch goblin roll up into Hell in the eternity I've been "burning" here. Which goes to show you that the whole system is complete bullshit. And for you gap-toothed dipshits in the back that didn't understand it the first time, let me clarify. My name is Hannah and I'm dead as shit. How's that for a fucking description?