He's gone now. I can never get him back. Pa can never get him back. And it's all my fault. Well, if he is gone, then I'll go too. I don't deserve to stay. I don't even deserve to live. Ma and Pa loved him so much, and if it weren't for my selfishness, he would still be here. I'll go be with him, because secretly, I loved him too. If God won't punish me, I'll punish myself.