Happiness with him

Happiness with him

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WpMetadataNoticePublikasi terakhir Sab, Agt 6, 2016
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A man that will always be with you, a man that will treat you well whenever you have your mood swings, a man that will hold your hand and keep you safe whenever you cross the road, a man that will make your heart beats fast and a man that cannot love you back. It started with the word I miss you, and it ended up to falling in love. A kiss that was intended to test if he loved me back. It was just a smack that turned out to be a french kiss that I will never forget. It was just a playful kiss that turned out to be a memorable experience. I never thought that he will kiss me back and it was not just once or twice, I really don't know how many times did he kissed me that night. I would want to tell him that I love him but I can't. We were in a situation where we are not allowed to love each other. But how can you prevent yourself to love? Can you teach your heart, who to love? Can you tell your brain to not think about him? Will it be better if you will stay away from him or it will be best if you will stay and let your feelings fade away?
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YuanFen

What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'

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