Best Insults Comebacks & More
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MatureOngoing1h 2m
Last published Tue, Sep 18, 2018
Looking for something to waste your time with?? All the best insults, comebacks, pick up lines, pun, silly stories, savage burns, stupid questions, cringe worthy moments..
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Graffiti Boy
"Ouch, my self-esteem. You really know how to hurt a man." "You're barely a man. You're like twelve." "On a scale of one to ten? How sweet!" I stopped walking, causing him to come to an abrupt stop a mere inch behind me, "What the hell do you want?" "You." ~ VALERIE LOCKHART. Sassy, sarcastic, sweet and obsessed with avocados. Her past was horrible. Her mother was murdered. No thrill. Until she met him. ELIJAH HASTAWAY. Flirtatious, caring and ridiculously attractive. His past was horrible. He lost everything. No love. Until he met her. When the past is left unresolved, it bleeds like ink, destroying every page and chapter to follow. You better fix the problem before it seeps in and ruins the entire book. ⚠️ The following story may appear cliche but there is a lot more to it, so buckle up, it's gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions, stupid puns and plot twists! ⚠️ ~ Completed: August 2018 Cover created by: @silverrosess ❤️ This book was inspired by a text post by tumblr user: christmasbarakat :)) ~ ON AMAZON AS A PAPERBACK WITH EXCLUSIVE PARTS FOR JUST $9.95 (USD)! ~ PLEASE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. THIS STORY WAS CREATED ENTIRELY BY ME. IT'S NOT NICE TO STEAL PEOPLE'S WORK. ANYONE CAUGHT COPYING WILL BE REPORTED IMMEDIATELY. Thanks have a good day!Complete
I Checked Out the Badboy's Boxers
"Not the typical cliche teen fiction" "You're hooked from the get go. Pretty much similar to when you can't stop eating till the last slice of pizza, or have the eagerness to pee, but can't because you're scared that if you stop reading you'll miss the intensity each word brings." "There isn't even a word good enough to describe this book. I'm speechless." - "Please Lexa?" Elle looks at me, "Just fill in my spot for ten minutes." At that moment I was calm, what could go wrong with running a checkout isle for ten minutes? As it turns out, everything. -- "Why are you checking me out?" His voice questions. Even his voice is the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention the broad shoulder, killer jawlined boy it came from. "I wasn't, I swear!" My cheeks blush ferociously. How the hell did he notice? In fact I'd always thought I was pretty stealthy. He just chuckles and looks at me, a rambling mess, "Yes you are." "Okay, alright, you know what-" I pause trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered dignity from the floor, "Maybe you shouldn't come in here like a fracking ambercrombie model and then on top of that blame a poor little innocent girl for looking-" "I meant those. You're checking me out." He gestures to the items laying across the counter and the scanner in my hand. Oh shit. Let me just repeat that for a moment now. Oh shit. -- Started: 12/27/15 Ended: 10/24/18 February 2019: #1 HUMOR -- Warning: I cannot guarantee you will walk away from this book unaffectedComplete
Bloody War (NOW PUBLISHED IN PAPERBACK)
NOW PUBLISHED IN PAPERBACK ON AMAZON! IF YOU WANT TO ADD IT TO YOUR SHELF, JUST CLICK ON THE LINK IN MY BIO NOW!!! OR CLICK HERE:- https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0B29BRSXC/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_i_VA9QRYRDJFHKP0B91JC6 ⚠️⚠️Warning ⚠️:- There are curse words, mentions of murder, pictures of bloody scenes, a little game of feelings, heavy manipulation, killing of children, bombs, guns and drugs. And yes, your female lead may not be as innocent as you prefer to read on. If you are case sensitive to any of these, please read at your own risks. Viewer discretion is advised. "She was a rogue agent. A master in worshipping her work and herself. But suddenly she disappeared, without any track. Some thought she is dead, some thought she has taken a momentarily break and some thought she was still looking out for a chance to pounce on any other gang. I don't blame them, she had a track record for doing that and she was pretty good at it." Her last kill before she vanished out of this world of war, was one of the biggest group of smugglers. Now, many other groups and rogue agents are trying to track her down for one reason or another, but in that crowd this last group which she tackled down to ashes is also included. Not revenge but something bigger. More than hard feelings, more than just a rage of vengeance. Something to gnaw at for a specific reason. Any guesses why this group is searching for it's biggest enemy? ●●●●● "Why did you refuse...?! "Beacuse...I don't want to lose the people ..I c-care for anymore..!" My eyes became wide as I realized what I said... . . ".......you.... . Care for....... . . . .....me? . . . . . . . . . A/N:- Hey there! 🙋♀️This is my first book and basically a trash🤦♀️in my humble opinion ☺ but do give it a try, maybe you'll like it. P.S: Sequel in the making 🤯 😉Complete
My Star's Light is Overrated |✓
#10 in Humor 15/05/17 #29 in Teen Fiction 02/11/16 DISCLAIMER: I wrote this story when I was thirteen, so I'm sure that there are A TON of mistakes and plot holes. Reader's discretion is advisable. ❝Even through the cloudy nights of gloom and gray, it is a star's light that brings out a new Day❞ When a girl starts off a new school for the first time in her life, she obviously expects it to be far from sunshine and happiness. Especially if she's joined in the middle of the school year and used to be able to get up whenever she wanted, had her very own governess and lived out in the boonies. Not Day Winters. Meet the girl who defies logic of every kind, as she faces the real world for what it is despite holding a huge secret- that she is an online blogger with more than half of the world's population in love with her. This population however, isn't in love with Day, but her online form Starlight24. In an endless roller coaster of love, secrets, fights and friendship, Day is forced to accept the fact that even a Star's light will eventually burn out, and that even her own flame may flicker out into an overrated Daydream. ✨✨✨ © 2015 All rights reserved. [EXTENDED SUMMARY INSIDE]Complete
1,000 Riddles ✔️
Ready to think hard? These riddles (and an occasional joke) will test your logic skills. *Disclaimer: these riddles are not mine (except #200) [ 06.19.2018 #1 in brainstorm ] [ 08.12.2018 #2 in intelligence ] [ 06.19.2018 #14 in jokes ]Complete
My Cocky But Sexy Idiot Of A Professor
-COMPLETED- Started:5th March 2015 Finished:22 June 2017 #1-hate at first sight(2019) #2 in missions (2019) Meet Blair Vermin,She's never minded university.Her physics teacher, retires and she's greeted with someone else.someone shes already met and thought she had figured him out.Oh god,the first impression they had of each other were extraordinary. And even worse?He,the man she bumped into at the grocery and had an argument with;ends up being her new professor the next day.But god damn it he's a good looking asshole. ---------- Owch"i huffed as I rubbed my sore butt. "I would like it,if you'd Watch where you're going!"The manly voice shouted. "Excuse me it was YOUR sorry ass that walked into me!"I argued,Finally stopping and looking up to find some sexy light brown eyes glaring at me intensely. "You shouldn't blame others for your own damn mistake" wow,this asswipe isn't getting away with HIS this. "You're kidding?I was minding my own bloody business before you crashed into me!" "I came here to get my cereal"He snickered,pushing past me. "I came here to get my cereal"I mimicked childishly.Complete
Violet's Delight
"Well then. That's the first time a girl has ever rejected my close proximity," he said, eyes ablaze with a playful fire. "You better get used to it," I retorted as I spun on my heel and headed for the school doors that led to the outside. "I've never met anyone like you before," he called after me, this time, not coming after me. "I know, Romeo. I'm a special little snowflake," I called back, not turning around. "You got the 'little' part right there, Princess!" he shouted after me. I threw up my middle finger back to him and heard him laugh as I exited out the doors rather dramatically. ... I'm tired of all those high school stories about a straight-A girl student with the perfect life who falls for the stereotypical Mr. Bad Boy who wears leather black jackets and only has a soft spot for her. That's not how the real world works, sweetheart. I may look like a damsel, but I'm never in distress. ... Not me making fun of the "she's not like every other girl" trope <3 o.o :)) I like to think I'm funny. After all: #3 in amusement 10/22/22 #1 in banter 10/31/22 #3 in friendship 11/7/22Complete![Maybe it's Destiny [needs MAJOR editing]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/21285618-256-k230800.jpg)
Maybe it's Destiny [needs MAJOR editing]
She smiled. “We should probably work on what we came here for.” “Good idea. Whoa, since when do you have good ideas?” I teased. “Chaste, the day you have a good idea will be the day Spongebob gets his license‒never.” ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ Madeline Schultz comes from a dirt-poor family, and has to work hard at SEVERAL jobs. At school she remains somewhat known, but doesn't tell anybody about her situation at home, not wanting to be treated differently. Flynn Chaste is filthy rich. Popular, captain of the quidditch‒okay, soccer‒team. He's the kind of guy who likes to mess around and have fun (and by fun I mean pick up girls). He needs a good, hardworking girl to give him a reality check. A girl who can match his major level of sarcasm. That girl? You've probably already figured out by now. © 2014, Kaylee. All Rights Reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. [cover by worldgirlalwaysxx] Just going to warn you, that this is an extremely rough draft and something that I am not very proud of. The story line is okay, but there are some plot holes and the writing is just overall 'eh'. So read at your own risk!Complete
Smosh Quotes
Some simple, funny, and stupid shit that the Smosh squad & Smosh Games says.Complete
LAUGH FUCKING ASS OUT
* MATURE CONTENT WARNING* If your already reading this then your in the right place. Now stop wasting your time here and start reading for a fun ride of laughs! Coughs! & hiccups!Complete
The Cliché Cupid ||COMPLETED||✔
|| Highest Ranking - #2 in smart-ass (11 May 2018) || Andrea Red is a girl with a wild imagination. After reading millions of books about the girl that falls in love with a bad boy, she cannot help but loath all bad boys and their cockiness, charms and magic. So, when one day, she wishes for a perfect love life, Cupid hears it and decides to fulfill her wish. And when Cupid wants something done, he gets it done. After getting shot with the Cupid's famous arrow, Ryder Arrow everyone's favourite bad boy is head over heels in love with Andrea. But here is the plot twist, he is our typical A class bad boy and it doesn't get any better when he decides to make her life cliché, well, more cliché than it already is. But nuh uh, the drama doesn't end here, oh no, Andrea is oblivious to all of this, until it hits her like a train. And her reaction? Well you have to read to find out! Join Andrea on this adventure called love, with it's ups and downs and our hero, The Cliché Cupid. Warning: Contains swearing. ******** Started on 5th January 2018 Ended on 8th October 2019 ****** Other achievement(s): #3 in smart-ass (17/5/18) #4 in smart-ass (03/6/18) #5 in smart-ass (16/5/18) #5 in cupid (16/12/18) #16 in Cupid (16/10/18) #23 in humour (7/5/18) #27 in humour (6/5/18) #28 in humour (9/5/15) #29 in humour (10/5/18) #31 in humour (4/5/18) #32 in humour. #34 in humour. #37 in humour.Complete
The Invisible Best Friends
Meet Alyssa Bent, she's a nerd. But not your typical one. She likes to read, but her world doesn't totally revolve around books. She's not shy nor does she stutter when someone tries to corner her. She can stand up to anyone provided it doesn't involve attention. Attention is the only thing that scares her, and like always, there's a reason behind it. Maintaining a balance of grades and producing comebacks with sarcasm dripping from each word isn't the only talent she possesses. Enter Aaron Pelt, the most popular boy at Gradient High. Girls fawn over him. Well, who wouldn't? He's the star soccer player, after all. With the looks no less than a model, he has no problem maintaining his status on the social ladder. He maintains a cool aura around him all the time. They both go to Gradient High, a school that is divided into two social groups: the popular ones and the nerds. The popular ones are the wealthy snobs and the nerds are the ones who practically are their slaves. At Gradient High, these two groups can never get along! Like Ever! But who knew that the most popular guy and the nerd would actually be best friends? That's right! Alyssa and Aaron have been best friends since their diaper days. But at school, they are forced not to acknowledge each other's presence because if they did, Aaron's reputation might suffer and Alyssa may be subjected to something she hates the most: attention. While Aaron may not know, the reason why Alyssa hates attention might be even more than she lets him believe. A reason that might even force her to throw away her future dream. So will Aaron be able to break through the walls and push her out even when he has the pressure of popularity and the school status weighing him down? Get ready to expect the unexpected. You might want to change your definition of clichè after reading...... #1 Humour- 08.01.16 (Cover by: -infinities) *NOT EDITED SO KINDLY BEAR WITH ME!Complete
Cliches of Wattpad
My awkward rants about the cliche books on Wattpad. (The title kind of says it all, but I don't like seeing a blank Description box) I hope you enjoy my apparent ability to make people laugh. Warning: these are my spur-of-the-moment thoughts. Some stuff may or may not come across as being extremely critical or harsh, but I assure you, I'm NOT trying to tell you to do a complete 180 and delete everything cliche in your books. These are merely my thoughts, not a "How to Be a Perfect Writer" guide. Okee dokee? :) Highest rank: Humor #80, Rant #1 !!!!Complete
Wattpad Strategies No One Told You About ✔
❝ If you are one of the people who made another account just to vote on your own book, read this because you are not the only one. ❞ I've been on Wattpad since 2013, and believe me when I say I discovered a lot. - cover design by @Milochondria - © 2020 walkingecho Highest ranking: #1 tips #1 strategies #1 hacks #2 rantsComplete
My Bad Boy Best Friend
*From Best Friends To Worst Enemies* "You really think you stand a chance Badboy?" I snorted. "You tell me." He had the audacity to smirk as I stood there covered in stale spaghetti. "So this is it then? The beginning of your end!" Fine I was a little overdramatic but so was he! He leaned in and I felt a slight tingling sensation in my skin--and no, it definitely wasn't the spaghetti! "Maybe if you didn't look like a blob of tomato sauce I'd feel a little bit threatened." "If this is how it has to be, bring it on Badboy!" And that's where it all began. The chaos. The drama. The fights. The drunk conversations. The sleepless nights. The hatred. The kisses. And well maybe? Eventually? The insane urge to punch that sexy smirk off his face! •••Complete
If Only You Knew
"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong" he whispered, getting quieter than before and cupped my face in his hands. With every passing day we grow closer and closer. I feel like I'm leading him on but how could I just tell him? It's not that simple to just share my secret. I can't. Not to him, not to anyone. ** Bianca, the quietest girl in the class yet probably the nicest. The most afraid yet the most brave. The girl that is continuously served with things, that she could never in a million years deserve. Cameron, in her eyes, he's the most amazing guy ever. Cute smile, a freckled face and dimples, he had everything that she'd want in a guy. Of course that's just because it was he who had those qualities in the first place. He's been her only crush for quite some time, but he hasn't ever shown the slightest interest in her until now. When she was being continuously punched on the ground, he'd just stood there with his so-called girlfriend; laughing, because he had a 'reputation to uphold'. It didn't matter though, because she loved it when he laughed. Now they are chosen to work on a project together, in the process he learns more about her and becomes somewhat attracted to her. Could the last person on this earth you'd ever expect to, ironically fall deeply in love with Bianca? What's going to happen if he finds out about her big secret? And his supposed girlfriend? Maybe, just maybe he can become the cure that she's always needed.Complete
Keeping Up With Trouble
Who knew you could get into an amusing conversation with a guy you just met at a coffee shop? Not Heather. ~~ "Why do you keep on following me?" "Because." "Because what?" "Just because." "Stupid idiot" "Do you really wanna know why?" "Will I ask you if I don't wanna know why?" "Way to go with the attitude Amore" "Just answer the damn question estùpido" "Well, keeping up with trouble is fun don't you think?" . . . "What the heck are you talking about?" ~~ With secrets and a whole different level of danger facing them, Who knew that said guy is determined to develop a special hate and love relationship with trouble itself? Not Heather, that's for sure.Complete
Funny Jokes | √
FUNNIEST JOKES EVER!!! Note: I do not claim to be the sole and exclusive owner of the content I make available through this book.Complete
"Ouch, my self-esteem. You really know how to hurt a man." "You're barely a man. You're like twelve." "On a scale of one to ten? How sweet!" I stopped walking, causing him to come to an abrupt stop a mere inch behind me, "What the hell do you want?" "You." ~ VALERIE LOCKHART. Sassy, sarcastic, sweet and obsessed with avocados. Her past was horrible. Her mother was murdered. No thrill. Until she met him. ELIJAH HASTAWAY. Flirtatious, caring and ridiculously attractive. His past was horrible. He lost everything. No love. Until he met her. When the past is left unresolved, it bleeds like ink, destroying every page and chapter to follow. You better fix the problem before it seeps in and ruins the entire book. ⚠️ The following story may appear cliche but there is a lot more to it, so buckle up, it's gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions, stupid puns and plot twists! ⚠️ ~ Completed: August 2018 Cover created by: @silverrosess ❤️ This book was inspired by a text post by tumblr user: christmasbarakat :)) ~ ON AMAZON AS A PAPERBACK WITH EXCLUSIVE PARTS FOR JUST $9.95 (USD)! ~ PLEASE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. THIS STORY WAS CREATED ENTIRELY BY ME. IT'S NOT NICE TO STEAL PEOPLE'S WORK. ANYONE CAUGHT COPYING WILL BE REPORTED IMMEDIATELY. Thanks have a good day!
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