Moving forward
- Reads 3
- Votes 1
- Parts 1
MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, Aug 13, 2016
i looked into the face of suicide and said i lived past you & i wont die from you
So today i am here to look my own flesh and blooded mommy in the face and tell her for as long as we have the same blood i will no longer be a disgrace
Because i have left the past behind me i have moved on . and i will be great .
I will be the rose that has grown out of the concrete even if that means that i have to bloom late
I am here just to tell my own flesh and blood mommy that , that emotional feeling that i had in my heart is no longer hate
Because i know how it feels when everyone has given up on you so you had to depend on faith
I dont know how it feels to be locked behind bars but i know how it feels to be trapped behind a gate
Talking to my conscience going mentally insane
The other day i put a stone in a cup and talked to it about all of my pain
But talking to a cup and talking to my mommy is two toatally different things
I left my past behind me now its time for a change
We both mistunderstood without our mommies . now its time to let the forgiveness reign
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𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 ✓
╰┈➤ ❝ [I stood there in unequivocal revelation, the lagging pain slowly catching up with me, but before I could release a fraction of the pain into my screaming, a bell rang, and suddenly, pilfered from my body was the ability to move. My face neutral and my muscles disabled as I fell face-first into the hard, scathing rock that lay unmoved before me.] 》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ * 。° 。 • ˚《 Imagine awakening in an environment you deemed unfamiliar, your back thrumming in pain, with your mind staying clear of how you ended up there or simply the moments that lead to your position. You try to find a way out and later realize that you can't even remember who you are; your memories purged, your identity unknown. It takes you a good amount of time, pain, and effort, and eventually you manage to gather tiny fragments of who you were along with the trauma of how you retrieved it, but it's okay, maybe it's all worth it as you finally make contact with another person. Turns out she was your best friend. Finally, it looks like all is turning up until you learn of all the inhumane things you've done in your past, things that evade your newfound morals, things that were so detrimental to society that when you hear the reason as to why you've been enduring such agony, you understand why. How many people did you even end up hurting? What did you do that was so bad, that it made millions wish the absolute worst of you? What will you do now?Complete
He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.
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