Beautiful nightmare ?

I heard that writing would help you to relieve your stress. so you can call this writing is a trash for me. yes, a trash where i threw all of my hard 'problem'. Here we go.

is this a right term ? that was a nightmare for me but it also beautiful.

that night i prayed to the God that i wanted to have a nice dream with him inside it. i knew i would sound cheesy but i really have to say it, I wanted to be hug by him. just that. I had loved this man since first time i saw him, 5 years ago. (if you don't believe that love at first sight is real, believe me, it is REALLY exist). first time i saw him, his face really look alike with my ex-boyfriend. but after I knew him personally, he was way better then my ex.

talking about my ex, he had taught me some lessons : first don't easily to believe someone else (even your boyfriend), second : your close friend have high possibility to betray you. well, i thought that you already had an idea that my boyfriend and my close friend betrayed me. they dated secretly. Actually it happened long long time ago, but because of that I have a trust issue now.

alright, back to the main story.

before I graduated from the collage I finally could be close to him, although it just for teamwork to do a scientific paper competition. i already had a chance, but I really can't do a thing when i was with him except being so nervous. Time passed so fast and now I can't see him anymore because he is my junior, and I already graduated. I know I am suck at this kind of matter. i am not like the other girls who have such a big bravery to get closer with whom they like, even confess to them. I just like to wait, waiting for him to know my feeling towards him, waiting for him to notice it.

tbc