The Place the Eye Does Not See
- LECTURAS 110
- Votos 5
- Partes 1
Continúa38m
Última publicación lun, dic 19, 2011
Ok before I say anything else I would just like to say, i wrote this story a while ago. A few years back I won a writing contest, and got a short story published. After that, I continued it and here we have the result. I'm really not that proud of it, honestly if I were critiquing it I would deem it a poor story line with too much character detail and not enough action. I haven't worked on it in a while, but if I have time I will continue it, mainly just so other people can enjoy it if they like it. If you think it's good, please post a comment, I have the worst writer self esteem ever :$ Without further ado, a real description of this story :)
My name is Adela. I'm eighteen years old, and I have lost everything I ever loved. I have no home, no parents, and I live in a jail cell. I'm not sure why I'm here, but I'm determined to get out alive. I must find a way to prove my worth to the humans who beat me. I must get out, and discover what happened to my family, and to my home. I must get out of here, before I die alone. No one will remember me if I do. I must get out of this place, the place where no eyes can see.
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The corner of his mouth tilts upward slightly. I smile again. A smile!? A tiny one, but still. "Hm. So I got you to smile, that's progress, yeah? Can I get your name now?" I ask, swinging my feel a little. He shakes his head shyly, his mouth not moving at all. Geez! Why do I want to hear this dude talk so much? "Okay, that's fine. I can give you a nickname." I offer happily. He looks up from his book, raising his eyebrows. I just stare for a moment. He has nice eyes. Pretty brown chocolate orbs. They remind me so much of....... "Teddy." He shakes his head immediately, frowning. "What, why not? You remind me of my old teddy bear. He was a good listener and he didn't talk much..... just like you." I say softly, tilting my head. He continues to shake his head. I fold my arms, leaning back in my seat. "Yeah, it's definitely sticking. Teddy.....It has a nice ring to it, yeah?" He sighs, the first sound I have ever heard him make. "No." . . . *Jordan* Teddy!? Seriously!? She gave me a fucking NICKNAME!? What the hell does this girl want!? I stuff my hands into my pockets, walking down the busy street. Forget about her. She's just a annoying pretty girl, she'll go away. Everybody does. She HAS to go away. *Spoiler alert*: she doesn't. Don't get close to people or they'll end up getting hurt. That's my mindset. I've been through enough of that. This girl doesn't belong in my world anyway. She's too innocent. *Mature content* {Just a quick update, I am basically rewriting the story. I wrote it when I was in 8th grade and it makes me cringe every time I try to go back and edit it so keep in mind that it'll get better}
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