Losing everything I thought I once had

Losing everything I thought I once had

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WARNING: In this story, there may be some themes or slight mentions of rape and self-harm. If it triggers or causes problems for you, either don't read or read at your own discretion. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED Are you scared of demons? The scale-like wings, sharp horns, lashing tails? Perhaps it's the fact that they were once human? I lived a "normal" life, thinking being human was different from me. I couldn't see myself being the same. Growing up, getting married, having kids, dying. The cycle continues every generation, doesn't it? Cut to the present, my real mother finally made an appearance. She told me and my siblings that she needed some help. That the underground was filled with pain. That she needed the rest of the...family to help her. We agreed. Not too long after she was murdered and everything was thrown into chaos. And somehow....I was the one in the middle of it all.
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I never thought I'd actually do this.... I've thought about it but never actually gone through with it.... The voice in my head has been screaming at me for years... But I never actually tried to do... This... It's hard to be around people when you have someone telling you to tear their throats out with your teeth... But it's worse when you're alone. She tells me to do terrible things to myself... Tells me I'm worthless... Unloved....Expendable... Of course I believe her. She's in my head for Christ's sakes how can I not believe her. It's so hard...I gave in...I had no choice...the temptation is so strong. I can't hug people without wondering what it would feel like to thrust a knife into their back and feel their bodies jerk in surprise as they slowly began to realize...that they're dying.....they're being murdered...and not by a complete stanger...but by a person that they love....that they thought they could trust....oh god I want to...give in..... I can't believe my life is like this. Why me? How could I do such a horrible thing? Why....

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