Thoughts of a mind with too many filters.
  • Reads 635
  • Votes 24
  • Parts 133
  • Time 1h 23m
  • Reads 635
  • Votes 24
  • Parts 133
  • Time 1h 23m
Ongoing, First published Aug 27, 2016
Mature
I've always liked writing, but it took me a while to get into poetry. Considering the size of this book, you can probably tell I'm a lot more enthusiastic about it now. I'm not a great writer, but I figure this is a good way to learn. This book is basically an abstract kind of diary and my self-inflicted writing homework all wrapped up into one big package. I don't do a lot of editing initially, but I randomly go back and change minor things about my old poems sometimes. So if you like a poem as is, you may want to say something, so I just write another version of it, you know?
As to the structure of this book, most of the poems are in the order that I wrote them in. As I go through different phases, my style and focus kind of shifts. Some of it's happy, some of it's introspective, some of it is bitter or depressing. That's kind of how it works. There's a couple repeating themes, but I wouldn't say that you have to read this all in order. I'd actually discourage that. Some of my poems suck, especially early on. Feel free to skip around, and give feedback or whatever. I write for me, but I publish this stuff to see what people think. So, feel free to call me out on mistakes I make, or things you catch. 
Thank you. That's all.
All Rights Reserved
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Words by Hazyfantazy by HazelUrquhart
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Throughout my life, words have been everything. I write with them to ease my own mind and also use them to comfort others. The title is very much reflective of the time during which I wrote these. Hazyfantazy, a nickname given to me by friends at the time, seemed important to include in the title, as it highlighted a time in my life where writing was a great solace and also a joy and whilst in some ways I feel I have very much outgrown her, as I have the friends who originated the name, she made me who I am today. I decided to put all of these together in one place, as felt they worked best as a collective and also so that I can revisit them from time to time. I originally intended to add to them, however after reading them and revisiting a lot of memories, it became apparent that anything I write from this day forth, would feel like they were written by a different me. I think I would be better starting a new journey with anything new that I write. Some of the pieces are personal and very reflective of the anxiety issues and panic attacks that plagued my late 20's and early 30's. Others are very much fictional written in the style of personal experience. To anyone who takes the time to read any of my poems, I thank you. Your time is precious and I appreciate any that's given and if you hit the little vote button too, you have my everlasting gratitude ❤️. I am looking forward to writing, for the first time in a long time and for now bid farewell to Hazyfantazy, you were one hell of a rollercoaster ride.
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I'm posting this looking for some feedback. Any constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. Writing has always provided me with solace, by helping me to sort through and frame my emotional experience. During one of the more difficult times in my life--recognizing a toxic marriage and leaving--I used writing to understand what was happening. The poems, short stories, and essays here reflect my fragmented journey toward mental health. Works of art, they are not. However, I hope they can help others with their own journeys, even if only to provide comfort in knowing that they are not alone. Trigger Warning: The following includes depictions of suicidal thoughts, depression, and anxiety.