Stop It

Another video uploaded and finished.

I sighed in relief and stretched my arms over my head.

"Who knew it'd be this hard..." I dropped my arms into my lap and let my head fall between my shoulders.

It's been stressful lately.

Very stressful.

I thought I'd gotten the easy way out. Just lounging around all day, in front of a computer screen, playing great and terrible video games. All the while recording. Sounds easy, right?

Not really.

I have to do this everyday.

Every. Single. Fucking. Day.

Editing 1-5 hour long (maybe longer) videos into something people will enjoy.

All of that topped with comments.

Hate.

The hate I've been getting recently isn't helping with my stress at all.

I usually ignore it and read the good, positive comments. But those hateful ones always seem to catch my eye and they hurt me.

Despite how much I deny it, it hurts so fucking much.

People who don't even know you. People who have never even met and got to know you in person, how they can say such cruel and hateful things about you, /hurts/.

But I've learned how to release myself from that pain. And it ends up with me leaning over the bathroom sink, blood oozing out of my wrist and forearm, crying and begging for it to stop-for everything to end.

But then I watched him. I watched his videos and he made me feel better, so much better.

! ! ! TRIGGER WARNING ! ! !