Im not okay (I promise) - itsevergreene - Wattpad

Story cover for Im not okay (I promise) by itsevergreene

Im not okay (I promise)

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Reads 19
Votes 1
Parts 1
Time <5 mins

bisexual heartbreak homosexual lesbians lgbt love

Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to love?

Do you wonder why when you have those butterflies... the feelings of true love... do you wonder why the smallest things can destroy something so great?
I do.
What happens when the one person that ever meant so much to you betrays you?
What happens when you're left with nothing.
Do you move on?
What if there is no moving on?
What if nothing is explained?
What if they still care?
What if they never cared?
How do you move on when there's so many unanswered questions? 
Sometimes I would pray to god for a sign that things will get better... sometimes I think he answers me. I will be given someone new... someone who tells me they love me. Someone who tells me I'm beautiful. Someone who wants to take care of me. Who wants to love me. Who says "I will never leave you" and means it.
But why...
Why do I still hurt?
How many months will have to pass... how many years will go by in a blur?	
What about her? Does she even take a moment from her busy life to stop and think? Does she even miss anything? Was it all lies? A mask to hide the fact she never really cared, perhaps she was just lonely. Perhaps it was all a game. The endless nights together were nothing more than self-gratification? 
I still see her in passing... I have never in my life experienced such an intense pain. The moment my eyes cross her I want to collapse... I feel all the life leave my body and an overwhelming sadness hits me like a brick. A lump forms in my throat and I can't swallow. I can't breathe... I just panic and want to cease existing. 
When she passes by without hesitation it breaks not just my heart, but my very soul. Im left feeling more lonely and more insignificant than I had ever felt before, and trust me.. my teen years were pretty lonely.All Rights Reserved

bisexual heartbreak homosexual lesbians lgbt love

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𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+

Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸