Back to the Start (UNDERGOING MAJOR EDITING)
- Membaca 287
- Vote 2
- Bab 1
Hi I'm Maya Hart, in the past year I have dealt with major mental health issues. I didn't feel comfortable with my body and physical appearance. I decided to change that.
I began to not eat and panic about loosing any kind of weight. I thought I was too fat, too ugly, etc. This feelings toppled over me, causing me to suffocate.
One night in September, only the beginning of freshman year, I collapsed. The doctors said if i didn't arrive 20 minutes sooner, I would've died.
I was in Intensive Care for 18 days, they were about to send me to rehab. That whole time I was in the hospital, I didn't contact anyone. I was flooded with texts of asking me if I was okay, but I simply ignored them. To this day I'm still truly guilty for my actions.
I was diagnosed with Anorexia and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Hearing the diagnosis broke my heart. I did this out of being selfish. I remember that day so vividly, the hours I spent crying because of how truly sorry I felt.
The sent me to a rehabilitation facility up in Philadelphia. I was there for 11 months, and I was released last week. I still haven't contacted my friends. I'm too afraid they'll hate me and think I'm selfish because I ruined my life. ! I'm really excited to join my friends again, after being in rehab for almost a year.
They don't even know what happened, how am I supposed to explain? It was like I was hiding a dirty secret, but it was my life. I had to own up to it. As I walk back in forth in my room I can't help but think the worse case scenarios.
Seluruh Hak Cipta Dilindungi Undang-Undang
Bergabunglah dengan komunitas bercerita terbesarDapatkan rekomendasi cerita yang dipersonalisasi, simpan cerita favoritmu ke perpustakaan, dan berikan komentar serta vote untuk membangun komunitasmu.
anda mungkin juga menyukai
Tired of Lies
*(COMPLETED) "The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth." He bit his lip. "I wanted to te-" His eyes began to water and as a single tear fell he looked at me and said "but what if you've been lying for so long you don't know how to tell the truth?" "I have and so will you." He shook his head, shut his eyes, and leaned his forehead against the glass. "And here I was thinking you would admit that you don't tell the truth either." I gripped the telephone as my knuckles turned white. "What do you mean?" "Come on Zoey I've seen you sneaking around acting like you're busy. You're hiding something and you won't tell me." All Zoey Campbell ever wanted to do was keep her head down and get through high school. Too bad it isn't that easy. Zoey is tired of everything and everyone. She is tired of being pushed around and tired of watching in the shadows. She is tired of pretending to like that girl that doesn't even know her name. Tired of pretending that she is ok when she isn't. She is constantly hoping for a better way out thinking she should just disappear. All she wants to do is scream but no matter how loud she screams no one can hear her. Don't worry things just get worse. Everyone thinks she's a "sick" girl and just another suicide case waiting to happen. I mean what kind of girl sits by herself everyday right? Zoey is running out of time and she thinks no one has tried to help her until her "special" speech in class. No one really cares about what she really thinks anyway. It just that feeling of pity. Everyone thinks she really is sick but she knows she's not. But what if she is? Maybe all it takes is that one thing to make her snap. As her life gets thrown into chaos and deep dark secrets she can't help but try to figure out the truth. Will she find a way to let her new friends save her or will she just end up as another suicide case? *Disclaimer wrote this in 2017 when I was 14.Lengkap
Dear, Diary | Xavier Thorpe Love Story
Lilith is just a regular, "normal" Nevermore student, she gets good grade, participates in clubs and after school activities, and she's a witch but Lilith has anxiety, social anxiety to be exact. She was diagnosed when she was 11 after finally telling her parents about all the anxiety attacks before and after presenting or doing anything else in front of someone or the class. Her parents soon put her in therapy, where she was then put on medication and advised to get a diary, which she wrote in often. She never told anyone she was scared they would treat her differently, the only people who knew were her parents, her therapist, teachers and her good friend Bianca who befriended her their first year. She never told Bianca she just found out or maybe put the pieces together herself but Bianca never treated her differently and always comforted Lilith when she needed it most. Lilith thought she was getting better, she even learned new ways to slow down or stop her anxiety attacks, until a particular new student at Nevermore that goes by the name Wednesday start snooping around, and for some reason her friends start to distance themself from her. Did Wednesday find out her secret and tell them all, she did expect her friends to leave her one day so why does she care so much about Xavier? [I do not own the original Wednesday characters and original Wednesday plot] [Contains mature language, anxiety attacks, dark scenes, dark topics, and overthinking] [Xavier and Bianca did not date in this story] [Heavily inspired by every last word by Tamara Ireland Stone] [I'm sorry for those who also have social anxiety who cannot relate as much but this book sums up how my social anxiety has affected me and it is based off real life experiences just wrote a little more extreme.]
Patience is a Virtue(Under MAJOR editing)
An IV bag is behind me and everything is sterile here. Must be a hostipal I think to myself. I try then to think how I got here. I can even hear the gears in my brain trying to think how I got here. All I can remember is my 17th birthday party. I didnt have too much to drink I think? Then I hear a loud gasp that pulls me out of my thoughts and my friend Isabel has a shocked face and looks like shes about to drop her lunch tray that doesn't have much anyways. "Oh my god! Your awake!" She practically screams happily and runs and gives me a bear hug. Even with her petite, small body, it still hurt. I cringe but smile big and hug her back. "Why am I in a hostipal? I'm confused really! All I can remember is the party and i think I passed out and I'm here. But doesn't explain any bruises I have? What happened?!?" I ask while my voice getting higher and higher as I went along. She cocked her head and gave me a confused look as she tried proccessing what I said. She opened her mouth to anwser me but we were interrupted by a low voice. "She has a form of amnesia that made her forget a certain amount of time but there are some patients that can recover and remember whatever they forgot." He told me calmly but I cracked. "I forgot somthing? What day is it?" I ask with tears brimming my eyes And look to Isabel for an anwser. She has a perment shock face but recovers when I wait for her anwser. She answers holding my gaze. "December 15" I take a shocked breath and I try to remember my last memory. But no I can only seem to remember the party I had. I take a small gasp what I realized. The party was December 14... Last year Crystal cant remember anything from a year ago from a car crash. little over time will uncover some stuff that happened that she forgot over that long year.Lengkap
Sad Girl Clapback *Now Available in Amazon*
*PUBLISHED as 'Tired of Being Tired, Sick of Being Sad' by Azia To *now on amazon* This is the book I wish I had when I was 12, 13, 14 and growing up until I was 20. It's the stuff I wish I told my high school self. *** This is how I feel - these are my thoughts. They're funny. They're a bit weird. They're extremely honest. And I will not be apologetic about any of this (Sorry - I'm not trying to give Canadians a bad rep here but...). All these short essays are raw and mean a lot to me. This is me handing you a key to my home, and for you to explore the parts that I have built and things that I have picked up along my journeys. You may find that my home may look a lot like yours. It's funny how we find parts of ourselves in the people we meet. Make yourself comfortable. Have a seat. Welcome. *** A collection of funny essays about hurting, loving, and healing as a teenage girl in 2018.Lengkap
Can you heal my wounds?
Sophia, senior year in high school who had a hard past that still affects her and her trust with others Meets Ruby at her friend Layla's party, Can she trust her and let her in? ••• I watched as her face change to the biggest smirk while reading. "You have to come and sit on my lap till the next time your turn comes" she said smiling. "W-What" I asked hoping that i heard wrong. "You have to sit on me till next game" she repeated the dare again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ her warm body held my cold one so perfectly It made me forget about everything else in this moment, and for the first time in a while I felt safe, safe from everything in the world even my own mind, And for this time I allowed myself to be selfish by not thinking I was a burden and I let myself sleep in her embrace peacefully. ⚠️TW⚠️ Self harm (rare) I will put a TW before Eating disorder note: I think this story considers as slow burn. English is not my first language, so there will be a lot of mistakes. If there are any suggestions, please write it in the comment .
Weathered Love
"You're not a burden," he said. "OK," I said, again, trying to play it off like I didn't care. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep up the façade. I could feel the tears banging against the barricade just behind my eyelids, the sobs clawing at the walls of my throat... they were demanding to be let out. "Don't shut me out," he begged in a desperate whisper. *** If only the guys in Ivy's life could be as in love with her as she is with them. Ever the tomboy to keep herself from getting hurt, Ivy knows it's safer to yearn from afar than it is to love up-close. What happens when a new guy shows up at her high school and starts to treat her as more than a friend? What happens when she goes off to college? Will she be liberated? Loved? Or is she condemned to a life on the sidelines, always the buddy, never THAT GIRL?Lengkap
HATE TO LOVE YOU ✅
" YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! JUST GET OUT OF MY LIFE ! WITHOUT YOU , MY LIFE WOULD BE BETTER ! " I bit my lip and tried so hard to hold back my tears , " I-I'm sorry...I-I didn't mean to be a disturbance in your li-life...I-I will distance *sniff* myself from you from today onwards..." N&J ------------------------------------------------------- " F*ck off ! I WON'T BELIEVE A SINGLE CRAP OUT FROM YOUR MOUTH ! STOPP USING ME TO SATISFY YOUR BOREDOM ! " I regretted everything ," I'm sorry...*sniff* I-I really am..." S&T ------------------------------------------------------- " Get away from me ! I REALLY HATE YOU ! " I was hurt by her words , " I'm sorry...I don't know what I did to make you hate me so much but... " M&C ------------------------------------------------------- " Am I that unlucky in love ? Why whenever I really like someone , that person like someone else ? " I was trying really hard not to show my sadness ," Can't you see me ! I'm just right beside you ! CAN'T YOU HEAR MY HEART BEATING FOR YOU ?! " I wanted to say those words but I just can't do it... M&D ------------------------------------------------------- " Will you accept me back in your life ? " * silence * " i'm sorry... " D&J Start : 2nd May 2024 End : 3rd May 2024Lengkap
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘖𝘧 𝘍𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺 ✔️
•𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 ✒ [ᴇᴅɪᴛᴇᴅ] "𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥." "She woke up as a stranger to herself and the world.." ʟᴏɢʟɪɴᴇ: "Chloe, a mysterious girl suffering from disorders and memory loss, was shifted to a mental asylum. There she discovers the secrets of her past. With the help of her friends, they're set to fight off the hunters who dragged Chloe into this misery." --- 𝘊𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘺 me @Cadance232 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘣 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘏𝘢𝘸𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘭 𝘈𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 2022 --- sɴᴇᴀᴋ ᴘᴇᴀᴋ: "We are going to escape from here,break out." I eye them seriously. "We don't have much time, we've got two days before the crazy killer will come for you. How do we escape?" Aiden whispers and others nod. "W-what you guys are escaping from the asylum!?" We snap our heads behind at the door to face one of the doctors in charge. Shit. We are busted. --- I'm Chloe, a 17y/o pyscho.As if waking up from a 2 years of coma wasn't good enough, to make it worse, I didn't remember anything from my past.A psychopath having hallucinations along with temporary amnesia. I was shifted to an asylum for a period of four months. My existence was unknown or covered by someone. There weren't any reports when I went missing, strangely, nor was I ever sighted in any town. Talk about creepiness. Could it be related to serial killers abducting youngsters before finishing them? If so, why was I alive without any memory from my past? Loads of questions yet no answer. The most scariest one- Why was I in a coma, an unknown mystery? --- What happens when she slowly regains her memory? Will it help her and the other towns that are fished by sick serial killers? If someone tried to kill her,won't they come back finding out sLengkap
A Poet's Secret
Being in love with your best friend isn't the ideal life situation but for Zora, it's her only life situation. Secretly harboring her feelings for her best friend, Sierra, Zora pours her emotions into her journal in the form of poetry. After years of keeping her attraction for her friend at bay and trying to deny her feelings by forcing herself to love a boy who unconditionally loves her, Zora's favorite emotional outlet becomes the cause of her life falling apart as the truth finally comes out. ***** It was happening again. It was dark, sunset, I waited for her to be done with volleyball practice 'because she was my ride'. Somehow we wandered from the gym to the football field and we were sitting at the very top of the bleachers staring at each other. Her dark hair mirrored the direction of the wind, the setting sun being replaced by the brightness of her smile. We were sitting so close I could feel her warmth. It was an unusual situation. Friends don't do this. We held eye contact for a long time before I couldn't take it anymore and just closed my eyes. It wasn't real, she was just my friend. Then, I felt her tuck a strand of my curly hair behind my ear. That with the chill of the night sent shivers down my spine and a swarm of butterflies attacked my stomach. I reopened my eyes. If she didn't want me, why did she look at me that way? I held her hand and I held it for so long because I didn't know if we'd have another moment like this. We talk and laugh and she tells me I'm pretty and I ask her if she'd just noticed that and we laugh again. I realize the feelings I felt in that moment were not just the intense feelings of attraction that I felt every time I was with her. Warmth flooded to my face and if it wasn't for my dark complexion, my blush would be noticeable. I look into her dark-colored eyes and I come to the conclusion that I'm royally fucked and I'm probably also in love.Lengkap
His Heart (COMPLETED)
His heart was the key to his love. His heart was a wonderful broken place. His heart was mine and my heart was his. The problem was how long were we going to be able to hold on to each other My name is Isabella Moore and this is my story. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was snapped out of my thought when Ethan uttered so softly, that if we weren't so close I wouldn't have heard it. "What are you doing to me, Isabella?" I was left speechless but before my brain could even register his words, his lips were on mine. My body was immediately ignited with an unknown fire. My heart was pounding in my chest, rapidly, as he moved his soft lips on mine. I was shocked at first but not really knowing what I was doing... I kissed him back. My lips in sync with his. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Warning: NOT EDITED> there are a lot of mistakes and hopefully gonna be editing each part. There is offensive language and will as a considerable amount of kisses. If you are uncomfortable with that, don't bother reading but let me make this clear...You will regret it for the rest of your life. Lol, Jk. But seriously, bear with me because I am a rookie in writing big stories.Lengkap
*(COMPLETED) "The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth." He bit his lip. "I wanted to te-" His eyes began to water and as a single tear fell he looked at me and said "but what if you've been lying for so long you don't know how to tell the truth?" "I have and so will you." He shook his head, shut his eyes, and leaned his forehead against the glass. "And here I was thinking you would admit that you don't tell the truth either." I gripped the telephone as my knuckles turned white. "What do you mean?" "Come on Zoey I've seen you sneaking around acting like you're busy. You're hiding something and you won't tell me." All Zoey Campbell ever wanted to do was keep her head down and get through high school. Too bad it isn't that easy. Zoey is tired of everything and everyone. She is tired of being pushed around and tired of watching in the shadows. She is tired of pretending to like that girl that doesn't even know her name. Tired of pretending that she is ok when she isn't. She is constantly hoping for a better way out thinking she should just disappear. All she wants to do is scream but no matter how loud she screams no one can hear her. Don't worry things just get worse. Everyone thinks she's a "sick" girl and just another suicide case waiting to happen. I mean what kind of girl sits by herself everyday right? Zoey is running out of time and she thinks no one has tried to help her until her "special" speech in class. No one really cares about what she really thinks anyway. It just that feeling of pity. Everyone thinks she really is sick but she knows she's not. But what if she is? Maybe all it takes is that one thing to make her snap. As her life gets thrown into chaos and deep dark secrets she can't help but try to figure out the truth. Will she find a way to let her new friends save her or will she just end up as another suicide case? *Disclaimer wrote this in 2017 when I was 14.
Detail lengkapPanduan Muatan