He's with Her

He's with Her

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I'm not in love with Nick. I'm not. Do I like Nick? Of course! He's Sam's boyfriend. Why wouldn't I like my best friend's boyfriend? Do I like him in an inappropriate way? Ugh. No! Stop. That would make me a horrible friend. Oh god. That would make me a horrible friend.
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"What else do you want me to say, Mia?" "Did you mean it?" There is a pause and I just-I feel exhausted, the kind that 12 hours of sleep hasn't been able to fix. "Hannah said I don't deserve to be loved, is that how you feel too?" She might not have said it in as many words but that's exactly what she meant. He takes my hand in his and kisses it. "Between the both of us-it's I who doesn't deserve to be loved." "Too bad you already are." "Please stop saying it!" he may not have screamed the words at me but he might as well have. "You think I am lying?" He holds my face with both his hands and looks deep in my eyes. "Mia, I will say this for the last time. I don't do love. I don't want to be loved by anyone and I will never fall in love with anyone ever. If you love me, keep that love to yourself. Please." "Why?" "This is the deal, Mia. Take it or leave it. I will give you my loyalty and my time but I will not have you telling me you love me ever again. I don't believe in love and I can't give you love. Can you live with that?" "What if I can't?"

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