Suicide
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- Parts 1
MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Thu, Sep 1, 2016
Honestly suicide is scary, especially when it's on your mind 24/7. Many people have tried stopping me. I've stopped cutting so people would believe me. I just do other things to self harm, to feel pain just to feel something. Everyday I hear constant voices, I don't recognise the voices, they are just always there whispering in my ear telling me to do things, and I'm stupid enough to listen but when they get inside your head telling you things over and over again, you'd start to believe them right? Well I see things too, me lying on the bathroom floor with slit wrists or me hanging in the tree or me getting hit by a car or me jumping off buildings or bridges. Even when I'm not walking around it still happens. When I sleep, or even when I'm just laying in bed and that's all that comes to mind, suicide, suicide, suicide..... This is a tried story because this is my story. I know many won't read but this is my way of telling my story.
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so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.
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