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"Ik wil je beschermen" Zegt hij zachtjes.
Hij staat zo dichtbij, met zijn kracht, hitte en stilte. Ik kan niet aan hem ontsnappen. Nu niet. Nooit niet. Hij was er altijd geweest, altijd in mijn gedachten, mijn hart in zijn handen. Ik word naar hem toegetrokken door de krachten waar ik geen controle over heb en waar ik onmogelijk aan kan ontsnappen.
"Maar dat heb je niet gedaan"
Hij legt zijn handen onder mijn kin. Zijn aanraking is onverdraaglijk teder. "Denk je dat?"
Ik probeer me los te trekken, maar het lukt niet. Ik kan zijn aanraking niet weerstaan. Toen niet, nu niet, nooit niet. "Ik weet niet wat ik moet denken. Vind je dat gek?"
"Mijn geschiedenis is lang en niet veel ervan is goed. Ik kan het niet uitvlakken , maar ik ben vastberaden om niet nog meer fouten te maken. Niet als er zoveel op het spel staat, niet als het om jou gaat. Er zit een plan achter dit alles, maar het heeft tijd nodig." Deze keer nam hij me in mijn armen. Hij streelt het haar uit mijn gezicht en iets in mij brak. Warme, natte tranen biggelden over mijn wangen. "Als ik jou kwijtraak, raak ik alles kwijt" mompelt hij.
"Voor wie ben je zo bang" vraag ik weer.
Hij laat zijn handen rusten op mijn schouders en legt zijn voorhoofd tegen het mijne. "Je bent veilig nu. En ik zal ervoor zorgen dat dat nooit verandert. Je hebt gelijk dit is niet voorbij. Dit is pas het begin en niets wat nog komen gaat zal gemakkelijk zijn."
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