laughter Express - Sandy368 - Wattpad

Story cover for laughter Express by Sandy368

laughter Express

Reads 45,616
Votes 1,365
Parts 39
Time 23m

Reads 45,616
Votes 1,365
Parts 39
Time 23m

funnytext gags humor jokes laughter

Introduction : This is a collection of jokes & fun text. Which I have collected & presented before you. If you likes it then let me also know through your votes and comments. All the credit of this book is belongs to those who made this fun text & jokes. So I hereby thanks to them on the behalf of all of us.

Guys Enjoy The Journey.. :-)

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Girl-I fell in love with him at 2nd sight. 
Friend- Never heard of love at 2nd sight
Girl-at 1st sight he was crossing the road & on 2nd sight he got into his Audi.. ;-)

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A married man's prayer; Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away. U gave me youth, u took it away. U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now, just reminding u...... Amen..

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A Very Sexy girl Puts Her FingerS On HOTEL MANAGER'S Lips

MANAGER Kisses Each Finger

Girl said :Tell ur Boss,There Is No Tissue Paper In Toilet... :-) :-) :-)

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Husband: Why are the defective condoms lying on the sofa..??

Wife: What. . .Where. . .??

Wife goes to find them and comes back angrily saying: 

"I will kill u if u dont stop calling our children - defective Condoms"

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for more jokes & fun start reading now ..Public Domain

funnytext gags humor jokes laughter

Table of contents

39 parts

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FEISTY BeasT by user316714523267

I aburtly stand from my bed when I heard my apartment door opening with a 'THUD' sound.I quickly run to the front room only to see a guy sucking a blonde gals face, so because I'm such a jerk I cross my arms on my chest leaning on the doorframe of my room while the mystery guy take the girl to the sofa reaching her dress zip at the back. Now my beautiful night eyes won't like to see naked body of my own sex but I wouldn't mind seeing naked...ugh get a grip jer "sorry to interrupt your beautiful lusting moment but WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY F.U.C.K.I.N.G APARTMENT?!?!" They both jumped from their seat and I get to see their faces the girl is familiar and the bo__what the hell??? And the mystery guy just smirk at me.. WHEN YOU SUDDENLY happen to see your father made suicide, your world will completely shatter, he was your only family. But then you have incredible friends as family to let you go through it, and much more, life has different twist for u. Get to see what your fate wrote... *********##########********* Guyz bitch is back enjoy my book and do give it a try please...and I'm sure u will like it!! Update every SSunday WARNING- I suck at description

Call Me Daddy || EXO OT12 by WinterLoner

Baby And EXO?! Wait, WHAT?? EXO are definitely unbelievable handsome, multi TALENTED but taking care a little tiny human?? No freakin' way. Oh well, let's just see how they manage, and who's the real father anyways? ---------------------------- CRINGE ALERT : Written when I was 14-15 years old ( im older now) before, my English was very basic and so much grammatical errors. I don't have a heart to delete this as it was my first story that i wrote, all the time I spent, and imagination, it was such a fond memory to treasure.

INSATIABLE by Dara57

He brought his hands up and tucked my hair behind my ear. coming closer to my ear "Do i arouse you?" he whispered, making my knees weak "I can feel the heat radiating off you and i know you are soaking wet already" What the hell? Pushing him off me i straightened up and glared at him "You are now my boss starting tomorrow and i dont think it is appropriate to use comments like that with an employee." He suddenly jammed on the elevator emergency button, causing the elevator to stop. "Really? That would make this more exciting and easier. "I am attracted to you, you are attracted to me. Lets fuck and be fine" I stared at him wide eyed Has this man gone mad? I admit that he is hot and affects me a little but that doesn't mean i want to jump into bed with him, he is my boss for crying out loud and i really need this job" He was now standing in front of me with his face close to mine staring at my lips. I want to kiss you" He whispered making me feel chills all over my body. ***************************************************** Blake Greyson wasn't born with a silver spoon but he worked all his life to get to the top. Too as one of the eligible billionaires in Florida with his beautiful girlfriend Anna by his side every step away. Mellisa Wakefield is a young woman in her early twenties who is yet to get her life together. She fails miserably in whatever she does and her sister never misses the opportunity to remind her of how much of a loser she was until she got a job at Greyson's enterprise. Two different people tangled into a life of love, sex and betrayal.

Young, Wild and Married by randomthingsbyme

Every woman's fantasy is to be married with someone they love someday. Most women are excited and ecstatic when planning their marriage ceremony with their husband to be. I have watched a lot of films, read a lot of romance books and seen real life wedding ceremonies and most of the brides are happy during the day of their wedding. Would you blame me for not being like them today-my wedding day? ** Being caught in bed naked with someone after going to a party is so not good especially if the one who caught you was your overly protective and conservative parents. What makes it worse is that the person naked next to you is one of your best bud who happens to be the son of your mother's best friend. One night, one party, one mistake turned their life upside down. ©2013-2016, All rights reserved --- WARNING: This story may contain inappropriate language and scenes for young readers. You have been warned. The first few chapters is subjected to revision. Please do excuse the errors for this story is on it's very rough draft c: EDIT: Blame Newton and The Boy From The Party's spin-off. If you do not want to be spoiled, read the two first before this. However, this story can stand alone.

The Perks of Having The Perv Boss by krsdnlslta

The more he gets closer, the deeper the kiss gets. My hands weren't able to move, they are just on the side of my body. He slowly pulled out of the kiss and starts to trail kisses on my cheeks and down to my neck. "Stop. Get away from me." I said in a weak and soft tone of voice. I felt his lips form into a smile and said, "I can't. You're just too darn irresistible." After he said those words, I felt his lips get back on mine as he started giving me the passionate kiss that we shared just a moment ago. I slowly felt his hands travelled towards my waist, when I felt his hand going up and towards to my sensitive part of my body, my eyes slowly opened. In my surprise, I felt his hand touching my breast. I didn't know that I still have some power left in me that I pushed him away and immediately connected my fists towards his face. -- Juliet, a popular yet not so rich high school student who is on her senior year, has been experiencing a lot of problems lately and she insist on keeping it to herself because she doesn't want anyone to be troubled with her problem. She has been working so hard to be able to get her problems done with, but what will she do if she happens to encounter an obnoxious, hot and perverted college brat who happens to be her boss? Will he help her get through her problems? or will he be the one to add on her problems? Warning: The story contains mature content so it may not be suitable for young audiences. Read at your own risk. ;)

Violet's Delight by lyazar

"Well then. That's the first time a girl has ever rejected my close proximity," he said, eyes ablaze with a playful fire. "You better get used to it," I retorted as I spun on my heel and headed for the school doors that led to the outside. "I've never met anyone like you before," he called after me, this time, not coming after me. "I know, Romeo. I'm a special little snowflake," I called back, not turning around. "You got the 'little' part right there, Princess!" he shouted after me. I threw up my middle finger back to him and heard him laugh as I exited out the doors rather dramatically. ... I'm tired of all those high school stories about a straight-A girl student with the perfect life who falls for the stereotypical Mr. Bad Boy who wears leather black jackets and only has a soft spot for her. That's not how the real world works, sweetheart. I may look like a damsel, but I'm never in distress. ... Not me making fun of the "she's not like every other girl" trope <3 o.o :)) I like to think I'm funny. After all: #3 in amusement 10/22/22 #1 in banter 10/31/22 #3 in friendship 11/7/22

Babygirl's Play Date(Completed) by selfaccptance

This is book two of @Daddys Princess _____________________________ "I gotta go..." Dolline said quietly towards him. "Cmon, five minutes" He said as he laid his hand in between her inner thigh. "My dad is gonna be home...i need to go" "Shh" he said as he leaned in kissing her lips deeply, dolline's cheeks burning red. Dolline shoved him away, "Stop it, you have to go" "What the fuck Doll, I came over to get in those panties, why the fuck are you being a bitch?" He shouted at her. Dolline looked at him, she was silent. "Now will you relax...?" He grabbed her roughly kissing her lips with such force. He moved his hand up against her pussy rubbing her in between the fabric of her clothing. The bruises seemed to real. And I felt empty.

Just the three of us... by GothGrrrl

*18+ Mature themes and language* Little did Alice know when she started a part time job in a hotel that it would end up changing her life. The tattooed boy and blue haired girl rescued her from a life her father had forced upon her, and together they could take on the world. * * * * * * "Tag! You're such a dick!" Two guys are stood in the doorway, one with a red stain on the front of his chef whites and a bowl on the floor in between his feet, shaking his head. He looks about thirty, with dark stubble covering his lower face, dark short hair peppered with white hair. The other guy catches my attention more. He is almost doubled over laughing at his friend, and has the cutest dimples. His hair is dark blonde, shaved up the sides but long in a strip down the center of his head. His ears have several piercings, with a large patterned gauge at the bottom lobe of each ear. There are tattoos just showing on his neck and arms from underneath his top. And in his arms is a platter with a huge carrot cake on top. "My bad Sammy" the blonde manages to get out between chuckles. "I'll clean it up in a second." He saunters over to me and leans past to put down the cake, winking up at me. "Gotta love a man who can bake, huh?" I feel my cheeks burn as I look into his blue eyes. "Um.....I guess...." I squeak.

Finding My Lost Self [to be edited] by Dark_Starlet

She's sarcastic. She was the girl who never cared what people said. She was far from a romantic; She was Oreo obsessed. She used to beat up people in middle school, and still throws her shoes at them in high school. She was weird, a good weird. She was sensitive, but piss her off and you'll be scared. It was just her and the small, easy life she had. That was until everything had gone down the toilet. That was until her senior year had started.. ~♦~ Monsters are just everywhere, Only a few people are trustworthy. Would you be my savior if I'm lost there? 'Cause with all the greed, there's left no mercy. At some point I'll be so hopeless, At some point I'll get that feeling, That feeling when trying's Worthless, Doors are closed, I'm barely breathing. I need the light, I need a guide, I'll do things with all my might, Smiling is hard, life's not so "cute", You scream and yet, the screams are mute, When lies, evil and mistakes take all the love away... When asked how you feel it's always "I'm Okay," All the hope you had, got lost in the darkness, You're heartbroken, you feel so hopeless... Crying in the silence is the best you can. Everything has changed in a blurry time span... Would I be able to find true Love? Would I be able to ever again Trust? Be My Savior, Please Don't Be late... Give me true love... I hope you understand. My name is Samantha Walters, and that's how my story went... But who knows how it would end? - #11 in Humor Copyright © Dark_Starlet. All Rights reserved.

Cliché, Touché and Douche by FadedSmoke

{Completed - #12 highest} I was walking on a path all alone at midnight. I was just wondering around, until I saw a guy in a hoodie. He was beating the pulp out of another guy and one more man was on the ground, he was not moving. I gasped. 'Is he dead?' Or he can be unconscious, yeah 'el' he is just unconscious not dead. Duh! Who would kill a guy? As I was proceeding with my thoughts, that hoodie guy turned his face towards me. My heart had a mini heart attack. I turned my heels to the opposite direction and started to run. 'Run Ella, run for your life' was what my mind was screaming to me. I took turns without thinking, that guy was now following me and guess what? I took a wrong turn and which ended up being a dead end ' You are so dead' I thought. So, I started to think what I said last time to the people I love. 'Good night mom, love you.' to my mom, 'Stop annoying me! I'm going to bed.' to dad which also mean I love you, 'See you later Lu, love you!' to Luana. Okay my good bye says I love them all. Now I can die in peace. Granddad I'll meet you soon in the heaven, if you are there. I was still in my deep thoughts until I saw his silhouette. As, he get closer, my heart begin to race faster. I closed my eyes, until I heard him say "Ella?" O to the M to the G, this person actually knows me. I opened my one eye and saw him due to the small light hanging in that ally "Errrrr'ick!" I squeaked and mentally face palmed myself. Even at this state I'm calling him Errr'ick. "I'm sorry your highness, what can I do for you?" I squeaked again while trembling. The next second I heard his fits of laughter. He was rolling on the floor, actually rofling. I was glaring at him but I realised that I'm not in a position to glare. So, I made puppy dog face for him to spare my little life. He stopped but after seeing my face, he started to laugh again. He tried to say between his guffaws "You..... your face .....was epiccc!" He started to gasp for air and had tears in his eyes.

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Slide 1 of 10

FEISTY BeasT cover

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The Perks of Having The Perv Boss cover

Violet's Delight cover

Babygirl's Play Date(Completed) cover

Just the three of us... cover

Finding My Lost Self [to be edited] cover

Cliché, Touché and Douche cover

FEISTY BeasT

I aburtly stand from my bed when I heard my apartment door opening with a 'THUD' sound.I quickly run to the front room only to see a guy sucking a blonde gals face, so because I'm such a jerk I cross my arms on my chest leaning on the doorframe of my room while the mystery guy take the girl to the sofa reaching her dress zip at the back. Now my beautiful night eyes won't like to see naked body of my own sex but I wouldn't mind seeing naked...ugh get a grip jer "sorry to interrupt your beautiful lusting moment but WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY F.U.C.K.I.N.G APARTMENT?!?!" They both jumped from their seat and I get to see their faces the girl is familiar and the bo__what the hell??? And the mystery guy just smirk at me.. WHEN YOU SUDDENLY happen to see your father made suicide, your world will completely shatter, he was your only family. But then you have incredible friends as family to let you go through it, and much more, life has different twist for u. Get to see what your fate wrote... ########## Guyz bitch is back enjoy my book and do give it a try please...and I'm sure u will like it!! Update every SSunday WARNING- I suck at description