Most of my friends have a book like this, so instead of actually writing a new story, here's a compilation of thoughts from the mind that brought you a few terrible and mostly unfinished Hetalia fanfics.
[!Trigger warning!]
(Violence, sexual violence)
Don't own shit except for the shit storyline.
If you like Hetalia, bad plot that's all over the place, wildly unnecessary amount of badly written smut and "romance", an incredible amount of bad grammar and you just want to suffer then this is the story for you.
Enjoy the shitshow.