Just a typical Christmas day...
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Ok, so. This is the story of how i came to realize I'm a lesbian. It goes through the exact moment, and the struggles that've come since. I hope if you're reading this in a similar situation to what I was, you have a happy ending. There's just 5 short words that I'd never heard in the same sentence before, and they would've made my journey a whole lot smoother. So, if you're reading this and you're going through it, remember: its ok to be gay.
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Slowly
I began to think, as one does when they don't know what the fuck their doing with their lives. Confused wasn't even half of it. Through it all I couldn't, for the life of me stop thinking of Nyx and her pretty hair and the way her eyes flicker with light when she looks at you, and dammit I couldn't help but cry because there was something so beautiful on this planet, something that seemed so pure and beautiful, here I was wanting to exploit it I wanted to touch her cheek and fucking cry because of her and how insane I felt over her. Knots in my chest, my tongue tied in my mouth, a blabbering baboon, a fucking child compared to her. Her her her her her her her her her. Nyx Nyx Nyx. She reminded me of cloudy days and heartbreak but it felt - No I felt and that's what made everything seem so impossible, I felt something for her and me running away like a coward did nothing for me. But at the same time running helped me in every way. I needed to run to hide, I wasn't ready to accept the fact that I fucking like Nyx like- like oh I don't know like - I've never liked anyone before and I was so god damned scared. A girl. A female. I liked a girl. The words felt like sour milk in my mouth as I said them out loud, indigestible.
Spaghetti
In the summer of 2020, as I was bawling my eyes out in the parking lot of a bakery, I opened my notes app on my phone and began to document. I was documenting the times I was unhappy with my partner and wanted to leave. I have no idea what prompted me to do this; maybe I did it as a way to vent, or perhaps to ensure I wouldn't forget. I don't know, but I did. I had no idea what would become of this list. Or that five years later, I would not only still be documenting, but I would have uncovered so much. The lies, the cheating, the stealing, and most importantly, the deception. I have been with my partner for a total of 15 years, making this realization shocking. I was in the process of writing a book about my life as it was, unaware that this list would take over a huge part of the narrative. I was writing a book on how I escaped childhood abuse, and little did I know I went from one abuser to the next. I wanted to share my story so maybe someone else like me won't end up in this situation, but also to answer the age-old question, "Why did she not just leave?" I will release The List, bit by bit, here. The list is raw and typically written when I was in the worst state of my life. It can be hard to read, and if you ever need to step away, please take care of yourself and do so. The List is vital in understanding why I stayed and what thoughts I was having. The List is just the first part; there is a second part that was originally intended to be the main book. I had planned for the main book to have a happy ending. However, that was not the case. Instead of a happy ending, I discovered a nightmare.
Is This The End?
I had been living in this dystopian universe my whole life. We lived simple, meaningless lives. I wasn't sad, merely dissatisfied. No one here was ever sad. The Center, which was our government, forced us to take a pill every morning to make sure we were always happy and healthy. For most of our lives we lived at home with our odd families that the government stuck us into as babies. Usually five children were put into each household. We grew up together in a single house, raised and taught by a robot even though none of us were related. We lived at home with limitless entertainment in the form of advanced technologies. We had one day of the week for shopping, one day for going out and one day for labor. On labor days we were assigned a job and had to complete it in order to gain money for the week. Everyone got the same amount no matter the job. If you didn't show up for these jobs there were grave consequences. The Center often used torture as a method of punishment, or so we were told. No one close to me had ever actually been punished by The Center though. It was incredibly rare. Most of us lived our lives as good little pawns doing nothing more than eating, sleeping and entertaining ourselves. But one day, my regular boring life changed...Abgeschlossene Geschichte
Games of Life (Ferreira Series#1) (gxg)
Narinig ko nalang yung mabibigat na tunog ng takong ng sapatos na papalapit na alam kong kay Eia yon. Pinaharap niya sa kaniya si Avery at sinampal. "W-why did you fvckng kissed her?!". Kitang kita sa mata niya yung sakit na hindi ko kayang makita kaya umiwas na'ko. Halos lumabas na yung ugat niya sa leeg dahil sa pagkakasigaw at frustration na nararamdaman. "I have rights, because she's my fvckng girlfriend! What's your problem? Why did you slap me? Anong karapatan mo?!." Sunod-sunod na tanong niya pabalik kay Eia. "What do you mean she's your girlfriend? Matagal na kayong hiwalay for fucksake! Right, Love?." Naghihintay siya ng sasabihin ko pero nanatili lang akong nakayuko. "L-love? Diba? Tumingin ka sa a-akin". Hinawakan niya yung pisngi ko para iharap sa kaniya pero tinulak siya ni Avery. Hindi naka lagpas sa'kin yung disappointment sa mga mata niya. Kitang kita ko yung sunod sunod na pag bagsak ng mga luha niya. Ang sakit makitang umiiyak siya dahil masayahin siyang tao e. Kung pwede ko lang sabunutan si Avery dahil sa ginawa niyang pag tulak kay Eia ay ginawa ko na, kaso masisira yung plano ko. "Don't ever touch my girlfriend again." Diniinan niya pa yung word na girlfriend kaya yung kaninang sakit na nararamdaman ni Eia ay napalitan ng galit. Gusto kong masuka dahil sa pagsabi niya ng girlfriend niya ako, but this is not the right time for that. Mamaya nalang pag pasok ko sa loob ng campus. Didiretso kaagad ako sa cr na makikita ko. it's for you to find out. gxgAbgeschlossene Geschichte
My Father Obsession ( Step father) Complete ✅
" Where have you been?" Isang malamig na boses ang narinig ko nga makapasok ako sa loob ng bahay, gabi na kasi ako naka uwi galing sa isang bar. Actually tumakas lang ako dahil alam ko na hindi niya ako papayag pumunta sa bar " Dad let me explain" " Where. have.you. been" Alam ko na galit na galit siya ngayon dahil sa tumakas ako. " Sorry dad, di ko na po uulitin pa" "..." " Sa bar po ako pumunta alam ko po na hindi niyo po ako papayag kaya.. tumakas ako" " What the f*ck Caroline diba ang sabi ko na wag na wag kang lalabas ng bahay na hindi ko alam!" " I'm sorry dad" Alam ko naman na ayaw niya ako palabasin ng bahay na hindi niya alam, dahil sa bawat pag labas ko ng bahay na hindi niya alam o hindi ako ng papaalam ay palagi nalang niya ako sinasaktan o dika ay kinukulong ako sa kuwarto para daw mag tanda ako. " You disobey me Caroline" " Please dad wag I'm sorry" Ng sisimula mag sipatak ang mga luha ko " Sana pinag isipan mo muna yan bago ka tumakas" Agad niya naman hinila ang kamay ko papalapit sa kanya at inamoy amoy ako. Palagi niya sa akin ito ginagawa tuwing lumalabas ako ng bahay , inaamoy niya ako kung amoy lalaki raw ako dahil paparusan niya ako kung mag aamoy lalaki ako. Agad naman akong kinabahan dahil sa pag amoy niya sa akin dahil bar ang pinuntahan ko at may mga kasama rin kaming lalaki sa bar " Did you entertained the boys dahil ibat ibang amoy ang na aamoy ko" Galit na saad niya sa akin.Abgeschlossene Geschichte
The Secret Island
"Hinding-hindi ka makakalabas sa islang ito," nakangising sambit ni Kallias habang dahan-dahang humahakbang palapit sa akin. "Anong ibig mong sabihin? Please lang, huwag kang lumapit!" nangangatog kong sagot. Ramdam ko ang matinding takot, lalo na't sinabayan pa ito ng malamig na simoy ng hangin. Malakas ang kabog ng aking dibdib habang paatras akong lumalayo, hanggang sa mapagtanto kong wala na pala akong matatakbuhan. "Simple lang naman ang request ko Arren. Kung papayag ka sa kasal na ino-offer ko, malaya kang makakapasok at makakalabas sa isla namin. You'll get all the privileges bilang asawa ko," nakangiti at tila kumpiyansa pa niyang wika. Proud pa talaga siya sa sinasabi niya, samantalang ako'y nangingilabot sa kakaisip kung paano makakatakas mula sa lalaking ito. Hindi ko inakala na ang planado kong pagbisita sa matagal ko nang kaibigan na si Namya ay hahantong sa ganitong sitwasyon. Akala ko, isa lamang itong simpleng bakasyon. Pero ngayon, pinagsisisihan ko na kung bakit ko pa naisipan ang bakasyon era goal na ito. Uuwi pa ata akong isang bangkay. Pero kahit bangkay ko siguro, hindi na makakauwi. Dahil sa islang ito, walang nakakalabas kapag natuklasan mo ang kanilang tinatagong sikreto.
HE'S INTO HIM (gayXstraight) Tagalog (COMPLETED)
> "Paano kung ang lahat ng itinuro sa'yo ay taliwas sa nararamdaman mo? Pipiliin mo ba ang tama... o ang totoo?" Si Ethan Kurt De Leon ay isang simpleng binata na lumaki sa mundo ng dasal, sermon, at mga aral ng Bibliya. Anak ng isang mahigpit at konserbatibong pari, kabisado niya ang halos lahat ng kasulatan - kung ano ang tama, kung ano ang mali, at kung ano ang "dapat" sa mata ng Diyos. Tahimik ang buhay niya - basketball, pamilya, simbahan. At sa lahat ng ito, tanging Ina niyang si Grace at ang munting kapatid na si Aya ang nagsisilbing pahinga sa higpit ng ama. Sa kabila ng pagiging campus heartthrob, may mga bagay si Ethan na pilit niyang itinatago: ang tanong sa sarili, ang takot na baka siya ay "ibang klaseng tao," at ang kaba tuwing may nararamdaman siyang hindi maintindihan. Hanggang isang araw, dumating si Jasper Salazar - isang matapang, matalino, at androgynous gay trans student na may ibang pananaw sa Diyos at sa mundo. Hindi siya takot ipakita kung sino siya. Iba siya sa lahat ng nakilala ni Ethan. At doon nagsimula ang gulo sa puso ni Ethan. Naguguluhan siya. Nalilito. Kinakabahan. Pero hindi niya maitanggi - may nararamdaman siya. At sa bawat pagkikita nila ni Jasper, parang may unti-unting nababasag sa mga paniniwalang matagal na niyang kinapitan. 🌈 Magiging mali ba ang pagmamahal kapag hindi ito ayon sa paniniwala? 💔 At sa pagitan ng "pananampalataya" at "damdamin," alin ang pipiliin ng puso? --- 🙏 Isang kwento ng pagtuklas sa sarili, laban sa takot, at paghahanap ng pag-ibig sa gitna ng paniniwala, pagkakaiba, at pagkalito. 💫 Dahil minsan... ang tunay na pagmamahal ay hindi mo makikita sa Bibliya, kundi sa mata ng taong hindi mo inaasahang mamahalin mo.Abgeschlossene Geschichte
Freedom from Within
This is my first attempt at writing a longer story. Here are few things about this novelette: - A novelette stands between a short story and a novella (7, 500- 17,500 words). - This story is not edited, so expect mistakes. - The story has explicit and mature contents. - As part of my "trademark," the story deals with love and loss. Expect drama! - The story is written in a nonlinear way. - I almost forgot; this is a lesbian story. If in any way you find it disgusting, you're free to bounce, yo! (In Jesse Pinkman's voice) - This is fiction. Question me and I will put you in here just to kill you, Game of Thrones style. Lol - © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Let's just support each other. Peace out! How does one make music using broken strings? Discover the powers and dangers of love in this mixture of clichés, realities, and fiction about love, loss, pain, depression, and survival. I have lived in a dark cage. I have torn every page. I have not known light; I think I lost my flight. Please come and rescue me; Whoever hears me! Help liberate this heart And show me love they call art.Abgeschlossene Geschichte
I began to think, as one does when they don't know what the fuck their doing with their lives. Confused wasn't even half of it. Through it all I couldn't, for the life of me stop thinking of Nyx and her pretty hair and the way her eyes flicker with light when she looks at you, and dammit I couldn't help but cry because there was something so beautiful on this planet, something that seemed so pure and beautiful, here I was wanting to exploit it I wanted to touch her cheek and fucking cry because of her and how insane I felt over her. Knots in my chest, my tongue tied in my mouth, a blabbering baboon, a fucking child compared to her. Her her her her her her her her her. Nyx Nyx Nyx. She reminded me of cloudy days and heartbreak but it felt - No I felt and that's what made everything seem so impossible, I felt something for her and me running away like a coward did nothing for me. But at the same time running helped me in every way. I needed to run to hide, I wasn't ready to accept the fact that I fucking like Nyx like- like oh I don't know like - I've never liked anyone before and I was so god damned scared. A girl. A female. I liked a girl. The words felt like sour milk in my mouth as I said them out loud, indigestible.
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