I Can't Tell

I cant tell if my family loves me
I cant tell if my teachers really care
I cant really tell if my mom stopped doing meth
I cant tell if I want to see her again
I cant tell if I should just starve myself to be skinny like the pretty girls
I can't tell if I'm pretty
I'm not sure if he really cares or I he ever did
I can't tell if its getting better
I cant tell if they can see my scars when I raise my hands
I cant tell if anyone is going to read this
I cant tell if I meant any of this at all
Because tomorrow I'll throw on a smile and some dark colors and forget about the hundreds of fucking hardships I'll endure once I walk up the stairs to my apartment