A Mutated Ape-Beast Herd As Observed By An Intellectual Felis Catus

Hello. I am Gerald. Allow me to be your guide. Mutated Ape-Beasts (Repulsivus Moronus) are tall, nearly hairless genetic freaks born of the idiotic ape genus. Unlike other Apes which at least have the decency to walk properly, these monsters walk only on their hind legs. My scientific studies have yet to show any real validation for this, except to make it harder for blood to reach their miniscule brains, allowing them to somehow be more ridiculously stupid then other apes. They are so blatantly idiotic that they have their own fake names for the genus and species, Homo Sapiens Sapiens. You see that? Redundancy. The easiest to correct form of idiocy. In their name. That they made up. I cannot underline this enough. Still, our obviously superior species of Felis Catus relies on these "Humans", so called, to survive and thrive in the world they have fucked up oh so horribly. As such, I am assembling this guide for you, the genius creature who saw fit to read my novel. Within these pages I shall weave a tale of one hundred percent real-life events, showing you many problems you may face with these monstrosities.