Story cover for I Can't Explain, What I Feel by The-Remaking
I Can't Explain, What I Feel
  • Reads 14
  • Votes 2
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
  • Reads 14
  • Votes 2
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Sep 23, 2016
What if feelings were the only thing you had left, but you had no idea how to control them. It sucks I promise. I've been through it, and I'm living it every single week, day, hour, minute, second I'm alive. You don't have control of your body, your mind, your actions, your mouth, your movement, or even your will to stay alive.


I've lived like this for as long as I can remember. My mother she was like this too she said alot, did alot, moved alot of things she didn't mean, and I know that for a fact! 

My back story is not worth mentioning or even thinking about so don't bring it up! I promise personally I will mess you up if I here a single word about it!!!

Here's a tip don't get me mad or else.........
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I live in a world where I am nameless. I live in a world where I do not matter except or unless I am owned by someone. I do not have rights, freedoms, joys, wishes, or aspirations. I am property. I was born and raised to belong to someone that will one day take me away like the fairy tale stories that I listened to everyday in the house I live in. I prayed every night that a handsome prince would come and take me to live in his castle just like in the books. I prayed that I would be a princess and have a kingdom just like in the books. But I was never told that the books were all lies. I was never told the true reason why I was a well sought after commodity. I was never told that I am not the only one like me. When I found out it was too late to save myself. To think and in less than 4 days I will be taken away from my current home and be in a home of my own. I sat on the simple wooden bed hoping that my owner was nice and kind. I hated to think about some of the stories that I heard about the other girls like me. I hated thinking about being exterminated because I made my owner unhappy. I thought to myself that I would try real hard to keep him happy. I remember the covenant of rules that would keep me and my owner happy. I would need to follow five rules. 1. Always obey my owner. 2. Always be available to my owner. 3. Never talk back. 4. Always agree with my owner. 5. I am not human so I cannot do human things. I wondered how pretty human women were. I was so nervous about my departure I nearly refused to leave my room. I could leave if there wasn’t anything wrong with me physically. I remember the den mother telling me not to do anything that would cause a refund or else I would be exterminated upon refund. My new owner had thirty days to return me. If he returned me and no one else was interested I would be exterminated. I would be killed because it would be thought that I was defective and no one would want a defective product.
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so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.