Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor) - M. Cavlovic - Wattpad

Story cover for Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor) by Queen_Raiden

Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

Reads 65,476
Votes 5,994
Parts 73
Time 7h 32m

Wattys winner

Reads 65,476
Votes 5,994
Parts 73
Time 7h 32m

Wattys winner

antinovel blood boyband comedy contemporarylit darkhumor freeyourbody ghost grownupreads humor magic malewitch paranormal parody roommates satire tropes urbanfantasy vampire vampireswithbite wattys2017 werewolf witch

Wattys 2017 winner in The Originals category!!!!
  
This is NOT a romance between the main character and some hunky guy. These are the adventures of vampire Lena as she lives her life from day to day alongside her human flatmate Carmen. Together they encounter human rights activists (not what you think), overly attached exes, vampire geeks, quarrelsome shapeshifters, some really chill people, and a boy band.
      
  Let's Go For A Pint is a satire/genre parody revolving around tropes associated with vampire fiction (mostly tv and film portrayals but written works may be alluded)
  
  Season 1 is up. While marked as complete, expect ongoing editing and bonus content to appear.
      
  Cover made in Canva(CC) Attrib. NonComm. NoDerivs

antinovel blood boyband comedy contemporarylit darkhumor freeyourbody ghost grownupreads humor magic malewitch paranormal parody roommates satire tropes urbanfantasy vampire vampireswithbite wattys2017 werewolf witch

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73 parts

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Eve by CesarVitale

-Featured Story -Wattys 2016 Winner Eve's a vegan zombie, and she really doesn't care what you think of it, so shush it. All she wants is to get by and find some pigeons or a fat rat - anything without a name she can eat before she starves to death in What's-Left-of-Los-Angeles, California. Because I don't care what you say, she's NOT eating humans. It's gross. Levon's weird and has a funny voice. Or maybe it just sounds funny when he hears it. Everyone's voice is funny when they hear it recorded, right? Anyway, he's like one of the only people who hasn't turned into a zombie since the outbreak, and even he has no idea how that happened. He thinks it's gross to eat people too. But he also thinks it's gross to eat pigeons and rats, so there's that. And now that they've found each other in the wasteland, Levon's plan is to carry Eve with him across the country to the army shelter in New York that totally exists and will save them both. Eve's plan is to keep her eyes from rolling into her skull every time Levon opens his mouth.

Blood & Honey #1 by TheDyeVault

~A Wattys and Fiction Award winner* A lion does not need an invitation from a lamb. That is not the way of the predator. Predators take what they want, when they want it, however they please. And this belief that I am, that evil is, enslaved by the dark night is humorous to say the least. Why would any creator make their pupil inept of withstanding the lighted world when this planet is covered in daylight for half of its life span? No, our Maker did not instill such restrictions for, up here on these earthly lands, we are the gods of prey. ~ Tristan There is only one rule vampires must follow--Bite Hard. It is forbidden for humans to know vampires exist so you can imagine Tristan Darkos's surprise when he finds one that knows what he is. He can tell by the tremble of her body, the thump-thump of her pulse, and her dilated pupils. He's going to have to finish what some other vampire started. The problem is when Tristan gets close to this human his blood turns to fire and the thirst that burns in his throat that should spell her doom twists until he's consumed by another need--one that is evocative, primitive, and...wrong. If Tristan doesn't figure out the mystery that is Kinley Shea Rylan, it is certain whatever dark force her honey blood is summoning forth will be the end of him and, possibly, the end of the world as we know it. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author note: - This is an original work with my take on Vampires. Hope you enjoy it! ***Available for a limited time *** ( ie. Whenever I finish this series or WP notices me) Blood and Honey Milestones: - Wattpad Featured story 9/20/17 - 2018 Watttys winner~ The Contemporaries - 2018 Fiction Awards winner in Vampire category

HYBRID by KatrinePaul

Jake is a young hybrid-half werewolf, half vampire-living in a world where paranormals and supernaturals see him as a freak. Despite their disdain, Jake manages to navigate life between the human and monster realms, determined not to let their opinions affect him. But when their scorn turns deadly, Jake's survival becomes a daily struggle. Balancing his dual nature was never easy, but it becomes even more perilous when a mysterious psychopath starts sending people to abduct him. Will Jake be able to withstand the threats from both worlds, or will the forces against him prove too powerful? *Completed*

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Criminal necromancer & vampire private eye team up to solve the case of the missing barista. *** When a client drops dead in her fortune telling parlor, 'reformed' necromancer Isla has no choice but to illegally resurrect the poor gal. Your girl's got priors, alright? Hiding a corpse will send Isla back to the slammer. The client's just a Tourist, so Isla is certain nobody will notice. But you know what they say: The only things certain in life are death, taxes, and a handsome vampire poking his fangs where they don't belong. Gregor, a vampire private detective, has been hired to find another vamp's misplaced favorite bloodbag-- I mean, barista. Greg knows the fraudulent and distractingly attractive psychic, Isla, is the key to the barista's whereabouts, but he just can't put his fangs on what it is she's hiding from him. If her little whoopsie is discovered, Isla fears both the otherworldly authorities and an ancient vampire will have her throat. So she does what any girl would do in her situation. She hires Greg to find the risen barista for her first so that she can undo the resurrection. Sparks fly and blood splatters as Greg and Isla investigate Philadelphia's secret paranormal society, throw literal bones at the werewolf mafia, commune with the spirits of dead vampire-brides, dodge arrest by the magic fuzz, and occasionally pop off for late night cheesesteaks. The Vampire Always Bites Twice is the Wattys 2022 Grand Prize Winner! The "Bites Twice" Mysteries 1 - The Vampire Always Bites Twice 1.5 - Doubull Indemnity [revised version coming soon) 2 - Shadow of a Curse (Coming Fall 2025) This book contains explicit sexual content, paranormal violence, animal harm, and gore.

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Slide 1 of 10

Blood & Honey #1 cover

The Vampire Always Bites Twice cover

Realization cover

Born Phlebotomist [Complete✔] cover

Now It's Me And You cover

The Adam Boy cover

The Mayor cover

Eve

-Featured Story -Wattys 2016 Winner Eve's a vegan zombie, and she really doesn't care what you think of it, so shush it. All she wants is to get by and find some pigeons or a fat rat - anything without a name she can eat before she starves to death in What's-Left-of-Los-Angeles, California. Because I don't care what you say, she's NOT eating humans. It's gross. Levon's weird and has a funny voice. Or maybe it just sounds funny when he hears it. Everyone's voice is funny when they hear it recorded, right? Anyway, he's like one of the only people who hasn't turned into a zombie since the outbreak, and even he has no idea how that happened. He thinks it's gross to eat people too. But he also thinks it's gross to eat pigeons and rats, so there's that. And now that they've found each other in the wasteland, Levon's plan is to carry Eve with him across the country to the army shelter in New York that totally exists and will save them both. Eve's plan is to keep her eyes from rolling into her skull every time Levon opens his mouth.