Критика (приостановлено) - Shannon 061 - Wattpad

Story cover for Критика (приостановлено) by Shannon061

Критика (приостановлено)

Reads 888
Votes 151
Parts 5
Time 15m

Reads 888
Votes 151
Parts 5
Time 15m

комментарии критика ошибки разное советы

Как говорил Бенджамин Франклин: "Критики - наши друзья: они указывают нам на наши ошибки". 
Поэтому я сегодня выступлю в роли "критика" и, прочитав Ваши произведения, попробую проанализировать их и показать автору его погрешности, штампы, если они будут присутствовать. Помогу избежать их в дальнейшем и постараюсь не осуждать писателя относительно его творения.All Rights Reserved

комментарии критика ошибки разное советы

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5 parts

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𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 | 𝟏𝟖+ by ariaduos

✧ 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐋𝐘𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈 (𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐍) ✧ When I was six I was kidnapped and taken away from my family for seven months. Thirteen years later and I have little to no memory of who had taken me. Ever since then my father has been severely overprotective and never lets me out of his sight. Now that I'm somewhat on my own everything starts to change. When I finish high school and start attending New York University my life takes a turn, for better and for worse. They're back. ☆ 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 ☆ Years ago we found our little angel. She just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was the light in our lives, until one day we lost her again. Thirteen years later and we still mourn the loss of our sweetheart, but we found her once, we will do it again. I am the head of the Russian mafia, or a professor at NYU depending who you ask. One day I raise my head to look around at the sea of students and my eyes lock on a familiar pair of ocean blue irises. ★ 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐋 ★ I'm a heartless killer and offer no apologies for it. As the head of the Russian mafia along with being the CEO to a multibillion dollar company, my life is nothing but darkness. During the day I'm an office man, at night my knife slashes through the necks of anyone I can get my hands on. Killing is my outlet, ever since I lost her. It helps me keep my anger in check. I've never stopped looking for her. We've come close multiple times, but each time came out unsuccessful. As I put a bullet in the head of my ex-guard, Alex comes rushing into the room, and the look on his face says it all. He found her. Start: July 4th End: ///

Emotional Amnesia by CAKerst

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not". I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing... But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry. I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade... Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you! #679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018 #779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018 #807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018 #474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018

The Stop Over✔️ by aaliyah_allie

Everything was going as planned in Brie's life till Covid-19 came. She was all set to go home, even got on a plane. But what happens when their stop over was the last destination they would go. She had no choice but to stay with the only person she knew in town. Charlie. Her brothers best friend, who she thought she hated but really, deep down always loved. Charlie had seen Brie since she was a toddler, always protected her and treated her like family. But then he grew up and realised that he was in love with this girl but could never act on the feelings. What will happen when both of them are quarantined together with no escape what so ever? --------------------------------------- "I just didn't think Brian would be happy with it, but now looking back I should have asked you.. Natalie Smith wasn't the best date." He chuckled. "Well you should have, I would have been the best date." I said when a pout, this was definitely the alcohol talking. "Ah don't pout bug. Like I said if I had the courage I would have, but like always I never really do. Even now." He said walking towards me. "What does that mean?" He came close and cupped my face in his hand. "I've been in love with you since fifth grade Brie. I know it's stupid, but it's true. Now I've just ruined our friendship and tomorrow I'll just blame it on the alcohol. I'm just rude to you because I don't know how else to react... I sorry". ---------------------------------------- this story is something really spontaneous, not planned. but pls enjoy😌😌

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter by user45947787

В этом фанфике я постараюсь (но это не точно) хотя бы частично исправить косяки последней части "Обители Зла" Пола Андерсона) Английский перевод будет, но это тоже не точно. Really, this is just a thinly veiled excuse for me to write some pro-Wesker fix-it story Obligatory "I don't own anything related to Resident Evil or Capcom" statement. I do, however, own the plot and concepts introduced in the story. P.S. Фанфик следует сюжету фильма примерно до середины, с которой и начинаются отличия. Также отличия есть и в прологе.

(Complete)Love Song ♡ || Jock!PJ X Fem!Youtuber!Reader by LavenderMochiii

*Warning: Written by a 11 year old* 'Your Name is (Y/N)(L/N), you're a famous youtuber that do cover songs, you are good at playing the violin, piano, and the guitar, and you are good at drawing. You're close to reach a million subscribers right now you have 998k subscriber. Your original school wich is (Y/S/N), got burned down, it was on the news lately. You are now transferred to a school named "UnderHigh" you are hoping some of your friends are transferred there too especially your bestest friend Cristine, she is your Childhood friend since Pre-Nursery, you will be moving today and start going to school tommorrow. Tommorrow is a brand new day but little did you know that your bestfriend, Cristine is...... Read the story so you would know what (Y/N) didn't know about her bestfriend Cristine! (*cough* my oc *cough) This book is complete! Thankyou for the ranks, reads, and votes.

Killian by mia_chaline

"I lost him, he's gone. If I'm not careful I will be too" -------------------------- He looks healthy now. His cheeks are rosy red, his lips aren't cracked. He looks good, he looks his age. But I still don't know why we're in the hospital. Alone, no, We're stuck in the room, his face pales. Like the day we got the news. No, wait what's happeing, His eyes, his body, his smile it all fades. I'm not ready, not yet. I just want to hold him one last time, give me one last chance to say goodbye. Just one more. "Sophia" Not now. I just need to say goodbye, let me say goodbye. "Sophia" I turn around, my hair is in my face, he's dissapeared, where is he. I frantically look around me. I'm in darkness. Empty, darkness. "Sophia" No, I had him. -------------------------- Killian Miller died four years ago. Leaving his sister Sophia Miller to grieve. What he hoped didn't happen, happened and now she has completely lost it. She isn't living anymore, but she's surviving. Each day harder then the other. August Stead comes into her life. Will he be able to help, will he be able to love again? -------------------------- Started: 27th July 2020 Completed: 12th October 2020 Editing completed: 27th December 2021

When Dreams Turn into Nightmares [DREAMNOTFOUND ANGST] by buffdude42069

Life used to be so much better- so why did the fucking virus need to get in the way?! I loved my life- my friends- my mom- this has gone well to far. Year 2027. - "What are you doing out right now?! It's past 5!" The tall man looks up to me, then rushes over. "Um, sorry-" American. - Why would I even let some stranger into my house- and why do I feel this was good after all-? I mean I saw his arm, no mark, but still. I can't get rid of the suspicion of the mask either but- I feel- connected to him? Comfortable. This sense of a new- happiness. - "My wish is finally coming true. This is for you." - "they- are real-?" - "Sacrifices must be made for my wish. I'm not stopping until every last one falls apart." - "Please let me explain-" "Get the *fuck* out of my house." "I never wanted to." - THIS STORY IS COMPLETELY ORIGINAL! - ⚠️*LOTS OF ANGST*⚠️ ⚠️*AND SWEARING*⚠️ ⚠️*INOPROPO JOKES*⚠️ ⚠️*SUICIDE*⚠️ ⚠️*SELF HARM*⚠️ ⚠️*ABUSE*⚠️ #5 Virus *Cover art made by @DTHUNNYii on Twitter! They're a very good artist so make sure to check them out! :D* Story started on: January 22 2021 Story in time date starts on: June 16th

Hanahaki Disease [Tankana Story] by segmenteightynine

"Please confess already!" Aoi yelled as she pulled her hair in frustration. Kanao blinked and spoke . . Tanjiro stared at the floor and only smiled "I'm fine, I deserve this." ---- ʜᴀɴᴀʜᴀᴋɪ ᴅɪsᴇᴀsᴇ. ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ɪs ᴀɴ ɪʟʟɴᴇss ɪɴ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴀ ᴏɴᴇ-sɪᴅᴇᴅ/ᴜɴʀᴇǫᴜɪᴛᴇᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ғᴏʀᴍᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ғʟᴏᴡᴇʀs ɢʀᴏᴡ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴜɴɢs ʀᴇsᴜʟᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴄᴏᴜɢʜɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ғʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴘᴇᴛᴀʟs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴡᴀʏs ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴠᴇ ɪᴛ; ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ sᴜʀɢᴇʀʏ ɪɴ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴡɪʟʟ ʟᴏsᴇ ᴀʟʟ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ. ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ɪs ᴀʟsᴏ ᴘᴏssɪʙʟᴇ; sᴜғғᴏᴄᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴘᴇᴛᴀʟs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ. - • I WOULD greatly appreciate if you don't steal/copy my storyline. If you're inspired, please credit me... or not. But, I'd be very nice of you to. Thank you! sᴛᴀʀᴛ: 𝟶𝟼.𝟷𝟷.𝟸𝟸 ᴇɴᴅ: 𝟸𝟼.𝟷𝟷.𝟸𝟸 𝟷𝟷/𝟷𝟷 ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs. [ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ] 𝟷/? sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs [ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴄᴏɴsᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ...🚧] ---- ʜɪɢʜᴇsᴛ ʀᴀɴᴋɪɴɢs: . . ˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ @segmenteightynine ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊• #14 in Disease 25/11/2022 #1 in Tankana 14/1/2023 #1 in Tanjiroxkanao 21/11/22 #132 in Love life 20/11/22 #5 in Hanahaki 17/3/23

ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ by ishh__mee

α ℓσνє ѕтσяу ѕтαятє∂ ƒяσм α євσσк ¢σммυηιту ηαмє∂ αѕ "ωαттρα∂" "ℓσνє ιѕ тнє мσѕт вєαυтιƒυℓ ƒєєℓιηg. ιт ¢αη нαρρєη ιη α мσмєηт."- ηєιℓ кнαηηα. "ℓσνє ιѕ тнє ѕуησηум σƒ вєтяαуαℓ. ℓσνє ιѕ тнє ωσяѕт тнιηg єχιѕт ση єαятн". -ανηι мєнтα. ωнαт ωιℓℓ нαρρєη ωнєη тнєѕє тωσ ρσℓєѕ αραят ωιℓℓ мєєт тняσυgн ωαттρα∂.?? ωιℓℓ тнєу ƒєℓℓ ιη ℓσνє ωιтн єα¢н σтнєя? ωιℓℓ ιт ƒιη∂ ιт'ѕ ∂єѕтιηαтιση σя яємαιη ιη¢σмρℓєтє ƒσяєνєя? вєαυтιƒυℓ ¢σνєя ву мαιтяєуιтιωαяι! _______________ ѕтαятє∂: ı8 נυηє 202ı

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Slide 1 of 9

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 | 𝟏𝟖+ cover

Emotional Amnesia cover

The Stop Over✔️ cover

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter cover

(Complete)Love Song ♡ || Jock!PJ X Fem!Youtuber!Reader cover

When Dreams Turn into Nightmares [DREAMNOTFOUND ANGST] cover

Hanahaki Disease [Tankana Story] cover

ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ cover

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 | 𝟏𝟖+

✧ 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐋𝐘𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈 (𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐍) ✧ When I was six I was kidnapped and taken away from my family for seven months. Thirteen years later and I have little to no memory of who had taken me. Ever since then my father has been severely overprotective and never lets me out of his sight. Now that I'm somewhat on my own everything starts to change. When I finish high school and start attending New York University my life takes a turn, for better and for worse. They're back. ☆ 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 ☆ Years ago we found our little angel. She just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was the light in our lives, until one day we lost her again. Thirteen years later and we still mourn the loss of our sweetheart, but we found her once, we will do it again. I am the head of the Russian mafia, or a professor at NYU depending who you ask. One day I raise my head to look around at the sea of students and my eyes lock on a familiar pair of ocean blue irises. ★ 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐋 ★ I'm a heartless killer and offer no apologies for it. As the head of the Russian mafia along with being the CEO to a multibillion dollar company, my life is nothing but darkness. During the day I'm an office man, at night my knife slashes through the necks of anyone I can get my hands on. Killing is my outlet, ever since I lost her. It helps me keep my anger in check. I've never stopped looking for her. We've come close multiple times, but each time came out unsuccessful. As I put a bullet in the head of my ex-guard, Alex comes rushing into the room, and the look on his face says it all. He found her. Start: July 4th End: ///