3 am thoughts

When it's 3 am and you can't sleep, open your windows, step outside of your house. Don't think of the society often. Feel the crisp ,cold air on your skin. Take a deep breathe and watch as you create clouds when you breathe out. Look at the dark blue sky that sits above your head and marvel at how beautiful it is. Try to find the moon and stars that guard that night sky . Whisper all your uncertainties out into into the universe, it's okay if you let the stars carry the weight of your worries for a while.Or when its 3 am ,make a cup of tea, grab a pen or paper and write all the things you wish you could say in a form of a letter and address them to the people you wish you had the courage to tell. When you are done, seal them in an envelope and keep them in the drawer of your bedside table. Maybe one day you will show them the words you wrote but for now it's okay in the world and that's what that matters. When you start to shiver, step back inside. When your hand starts to cramp, stop writing. When you crawl back in the bed and try to sleep, I hope you will feel better.If you want to sit on your bedroom floor with your head buried in your knees, tears spilling out of your eyes and filling the room to your waist ,do it. Just do it. Don't think more.It doesn't make you weak.You could never be weak, you are alive and that's the hardest thing .You don't need anyone's affection or approval to be good enough . When someone rejects you or judges you ,it isn't actually about you. It's about them and their own insecurities, limitations and needs .You don't have to internalize that.