How You Made Me Into A Vunerable Monster

How You Made Me Into A Vunerable Monster

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Mon, Sep 30, 2013
" I don't love you, Ellie." Spencer, my soon to be ex- boyfriend said, his hypnotizing blue eyes avoiding my face. My enitre world came crashing down in a matter of seconds. " What?" My once soft voice said flatly. I knew he could sense that I didn't need an explanation, yet he still replied." It was a bet, the whole falling in love with you. I'm sorry it had to be you." He explained, no emotion in his voice. I breathed out heavily, shaking lightly from the cold breezes." Was sleeping with me a bet too? Or did you take that advantage of that?" I questioned quietly. Instead of receiving an answer, he finally stared down at me." I have to say, you could be an actor. Just be happy you don't have to deal with me and my problems anymore." "No, Ellie- " He sarted his words sounding like an explanation. " There are millions of other girls on this planet. Why did you have to choose me? The girl that can't even handle being herself." I asked practically already knowing the answer. " You were weak. It was..." Spencer trailed off leaving his words unanswered. That was true. People made me out to be this easy target, because I was weak. Naive." Easy, right?" I finished for him. " Cas,stop-" His words ended abrubtly stopped. I snatched the charm bracelet he'd given me from my boney wrist." Don't even bother." I dropped he bracelet into his hand." Save it for the girl that deserves to know the truth."
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***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

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